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Newest Member: sassylee (45766)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Thinking of R
Badhurt
♂ Member
Member # 41947
Default  Posted: 11:00 AM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Somebody
I see no way you are going to be able to R with her for the following reasons
(1) the OM. Is part of a circle of friends that she refuses to give up . Not only is it impractical for you to have to be there whenever she interacts or goes anywhere with these people, but you will be humiliated and embarrassed because some of these people undoubtedly are aware or suspect this guy has been banging her. And who knows if her other fuck buddies are not also in some way connected to this group. I do have to also question what your girlfriend was doing hanging out regularly with a group of mixed company without you ever around, especially in places with alcohol.
(2) the OM obviously does not get the message that they are done. Either he is stupid or she is responding in some manner to him attempting to contact her . He does not have to worry though since he is part of the group and can physically get in her presence at any time while you are not there. So all it will take is one careless moment and you are back where you started from. She chose to betray you multiple times so part of her consequences have to be that she loses her enablers and social group that she used as cover. And yes she will resent that and has not agreed to it.
(3) you should be telling your family that you do not want them involved in being to between or her family either. Do they all know all the details of her activities. If au was your parent so would tell you not to bring her anywhere near my house

Your ONS , which is not acceptable, had no impact on this because she did not know. So revenge affairs are ruled out.
And as bad as your behavior was, it never happened again which to me does not meet what she did in carrying on a physical and emotional affair that she did not voluntarily end.
She cannot now use that as excuse.
You will be in constant detective mode if you try to R and that can be a trying existence.
It's your call but my vote would be to tell her you want no part of her anymore.


Posts: 1097 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Eastern USA
somebody
♂ New Member
Member # 44127
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Removed

[This message edited by somebody at 11:15 PM, July 19th (Saturday)]


Posts: 20 | Registered: Jul 2014
craig2001
♂ Member
Member # 55
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My cheating was about 18 months into the relationship. It was a ONS. I never told her until her cheating came out.
That changes things since it seems you both have had the same thoughts about your relationship. And you two have something in common.

You just need to decide do you want to try and R with her or are you done.

I mean she just found out you cheated as well. It doesnt matter at all when you cheated, the fact you just told her, to her it feels like you cheated yesterday.

So you both have a lot of talking things out if you want to stay together.

If you want to stay together, than you and her need to talk. And she has to understand that the things needed for R. And that does mean NC.

Are you still in contact with the OW?


Posts: 4304 | Registered: Jun 2002
somebody
♂ New Member
Member # 44127
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Removed

[This message edited by somebody at 11:15 PM, July 19th (Saturday)]


Posts: 20 | Registered: Jul 2014
Topic Posts: 24
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