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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Critique my Old profile please
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay, I'll work on it some more later today. At work now Thanks for the comments!


30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1298 | Registered: Jul 2013
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Better!!!

You want to show your personality, the fun, sweet parts. I do think guys are really attracted to what makes you feminine, intelligent and funny.


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4231 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Ready_to_run
♂ Member
Member # 20954
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You would lose me with "I'm looking for someone who is settled in life." as well as a lot of good men your age who are still finding themselves too I would guess. Careful you don't exclude some good guys still a work in progress where I am sure there are quite a few of those around 29 years of ago.


BH
Divorced


Posts: 750 | Registered: Sep 2008
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You would lose me with "I'm looking for someone who is settled in life." as well as a lot of good men your age who are still finding themselves too I would guess. Careful you don't exclude some good guys still a work in progress where I am sure there are quite a few of those around 29 years of ago.

That's intentional though. I live in a small town where a lot of men are going to community college with the intent to move in a year to a big city to finish their degree. And there are a lot of military guys who are only stationed here for a year or two. While they may be great guys, I don't want to date them because I have no interest in moving right now and I'm not interested in a long distance relationship. I want to date someone who already has a career and knows he wants to stay in this town for at least a few years.

Does "settled" convey that, or should I change it somehow?


30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1298 | Registered: Jul 2013
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 5:14 PM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Personally, you don't want the right guy to self-select out because he *may* not be settled. For the "right guy", you may be willing to relocate. Not an ideal...but I followed my ex all around the county for 15 years. You just never know.

You could say, "I love living in XXX and would prefer to stay here since it is such a charming little town and I have great friend, but...for the right guy...." type sentence.


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4231 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay, here goes another try:

Me: Happy, honest, fun-loving girl who is looking for someone to enjoy all the random things in life. I'm one of those crazy people who look forward to going to work everyday, and people tell me my eyes light up when I talk about working with my legal clients. Work/life balance is important to me though, and I like turning my legal brain off when I leave the office.

I'm a mix of both an extrovert and introvert. The extrovert part of me loves hosting dinner parties, and my friends always turn to me to plan our next trip or even a night out. The introvert part of me loves sitting in my sun room on a Sunday reading. Sometimes I can be the center of a group, and other times I prefer sitting in the back and watching the interactions.

During the summer, I try to be near the water every weekend. This includes kayaking, the beach, the pool, and the swampy thing in my backyard. During the winter, I am on a competition colorguard team, and we do routines with flags, rifles, and sabers. I am able to throw a flag in the air, spin around, and catch it on my knees!

My Kindle is one of my favorite things, and I usually read a book every week. My latest obsession is reading series similar to the Hunger Games and Divergent. Another passion is traveling, and I go on one international trip every year. My next trip is already planned, and I'm going to my dream city in Europe.

You: Happy, satisfied with your job, honest, respectful, and looking for a girl to add to your life. You enjoy being outside, but you're also happy spending time inside being lazy. You like to travel, but you prefer to travel with a significant other. You enjoy sitting over a glass of wine (or beer) having a good conversation about topics that interest you. You like 17 year old cats who drink sweet tea out of a cup. You are hopefully taller than me, and don't mind being around a girl that always wears heels. Oh, and you think it's cute when your girl sings to Bon Jovi every single time it plays.

I love living in ___ and prefer to stay here, but... for the right guy I'm willing to keep an open mind about the future.

If any of this sounds good, please send me a message :)

How's that?


30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1298 | Registered: Jul 2013
Betrayeddaddio
♂ Member
Member # 30198
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just an observation, you mention your cat in all three versions, some men are looking for reasons to exclude profiles, and on some profiles I have read (not yours) my mind went straight to "crazy cat lady". I'm not trying to offend, just offering some insight.

Also in the first draft you mention "Our friends" which projects a little farther in to the future to a total stranger, than he might want.

I hope you have some success with which ever draft you go with.

[This message edited by Betrayeddaddio at 10:48 AM, July 20th (Sunday)]


BH-42 WW-40 DD-5 DD-9 DD-11
D-Day 09/27/2010 Wayward wife had a 10 month A with married DB co-worker Separated Oct. 2013

Posts: 709 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Canada
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like the last draft...but I"m a girl.

I think it is cute how you mentioned your cat and teacups...it is a "real" peek at your life.

I also hope you have a photo of catching a flag! I would think that would be a real conversation starter.

I have a photo of me drinking a peanut butter stout and...the guys all comment on it.

So much better!! So much more...you!


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4231 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
brokeninfl
♀ Member
Member # 21896
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like it too! (but I'm also a girl -- and know zero about OLD dating -- so take it for what it's worth. )


"On the other side of fear lies freedom"

Me - 36 BS
Him - doesn't matter
2 DS
DD 11/08
Divorced.


Posts: 1074 | Registered: Dec 2008
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Better, but try not to ask they be taller! I think for a lot of guys, even if they ARE taller, won't like that. It's a little too picky. Also, I've dated guys who are my height or even slightly shorter and while there's less initial 'ooh!' Factor on the height level, I still had great chemistry with them. Don't limit yourself over a physical characteristic.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4203 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks I think when you add more detail, it's going to naturally exclude some people. I do love my cat, and I do prefer taller guys. I have my height preference listed as at least 5'10 on the search features anyway, which shows up on my actual profile.

I think...maybe... I met a guy in real person though. I went on a date last night, and then saw him again today. So far it could just be friends, but I get the vibe that he's interested.


30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1298 | Registered: Jul 2013
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sooo... yeah. I updated the profile, and changed my profile pic. Instantly got several profile views, and one message that said "hey im ____, whats goin on. You have a fun vibe"

Minus the grammar.... is "fun vibe" what I'm going for?


30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1298 | Registered: Jul 2013
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just email them a few time and see what happens.

You just want to stand out from the crowd, and hopefully a few interesting guys will show up.


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4231 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
PhoenixRisen
Member
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 11:55 PM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

IMO
It's better but ALOT of text.
Maybe condense the first four paragraphs down to one:
"I like working in the legal field, boating, travel, and reading a good book"
That way it leaves the reader able to ask you a question (what's your favorite vacation spot? What are you reading? That sort of thing)

And for those that scan (and don't read it in detail), two words popped out:

Crazy
Cat

Hmmm


Posts: 504 | Registered: Jun 2012
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 6:05 AM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's better but ALOT of text.
Maybe condense the first four paragraphs down to one:
"I like working in the legal field, boating, travel, and reading a good book"
That way it leaves the reader able to ask you a question (what's your favorite vacation spot? What are you reading? That sort of thing)

Well, that's why I kept it short to begin with. Everyone told me to add more details and put my personality in it. More details and personality means it's longer.


30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1298 | Registered: Jul 2013
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:10 AM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine is a little bit longer and I receive a lot of attention. Most guys comment they contact me BECAUSE of my profile. That I sound "genuine" and not like anyone else...I leave plenty for them to talk about and offer several conversation starters of something...fun.

If a guy has a really short profile, I actually pass him by.


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4231 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
WeepingBuddhist
♀ Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like it a lot better! It has personality and you've got a level of detail that gives me a sense of who you are.


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 664 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with cmego. I didn't ramble, but I included a lot of text and I got many, many comments about it being different than the usual--all from people who were looking for what I'm looking for, a chance at a real, mature connection. People who like to read and to write and express themselves well verbally. I think giving more info makes it more likely you will find someone on the same page as you.

I still think you should reconsider your height requirement though. Both because it's a turnoff to guys and because there are going to be great men who can't measure up but are otherwise wonderful. A few inches really is that big of a deal to you?


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4203 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I've gotten around 10 messages since I changed it last night. Unfortunately, they're all from guys who just say "hi" or can't use punctuation.

The height thing is important to me. I'm 5'7, and I usually wear 3-4 inch heels. I tried to date a guy around 5'8 once, and just didn't wear heels. I didn't feel attractive though. I like looking up when I kiss a guy, and I like feeling small. I don't think it's that big of a turn off to guys... the profiles that I'm looking at online are guys who are over 6'0, and their profiles limit their height preference usually as 5'5 to 5'11. I've looked at some of the shorter guys' profiles, and their height preference is usually 5'1 to 5'6. So, the guys are very specific about height too.


30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1298 | Registered: Jul 2013
Red Sox Nation
♂ Member
Member # 26358
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think you're making some real improvements - not surprised it's getting more attention.

I'd have a little less about what you're looking for. That part is up to you, and the work starts when someone contacts you.

Privately, I always thanked the one-sentence "hi" responses and ignored them. I'm too much of a communicator - if someone has so little to say at first glance, she'd never be able to handle adult conversation.


When someone tells you who she is, listen; when someone shows you who she is, listen carefully.

Posts: 1914 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 41
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