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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I miss my husband
Alyssamd24
♀ Member
Member # 39005
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am trying to remain positive and be supportive of my BH. I am so proud of him for getting a new job and know it was the right move. But I hate his hours...the only good days are Tuesdays and Wednesdays when he is home...the rest of the week I am in a funk....thank goodness for my DD because she distracts me a lot of the time. And I dont want to make BH feel bad by telling him this...he has no control over his hours and cant help it. I just miss him so much.

I feel isolated. ...I feel like I dont even have any friends to go to for support....my "best" friend is in a fairly new relationship and suddenly has a very busy social calender. ..one that has no space for me and DD. What sucks the most is her ex did the same job as my BH....she knows better than anyone else what its like and how I feel, but she is not there. ..every time I invite her to do something she says no cuz she already has plans.


So I guess it continues. ...I dont feel like there is anything I can even do to fix it and feel better.

Sorry, I realize this is a very whiny and dramatic post....but I had to vent.


"I need to be redeemed to the one I've sinned against because he's all I ever knew of love"

Posts: 871 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Massachusetts
SelfishHusband
♂ Member
Member # 43174
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm in the same boat. Working in a restaurant my BW works long hours. Her days off are usually wednesdays and sundays. But, I'm getting used to it. If and when she decides to go away for the weekend with me, it will probably be a tues/wed/thurs. So what. Things are cheaper and less crowded during the week anyway than on the weekend. I've started taking DS down to her restaurant friday and/or saturday eve as well. So we get to eat and watch her do her thing.

Maybe you could meet him at his job some of the other days for lunch or coffee breaks or something?

I, too, lost my BFF (he was AP's H). I also gave up my main hobby, which was my choice, but I have a lot of free time now. I spend it cleaning and playing video games. I don't know if you work or not, but that might be something to consider. If you need to be home for DD there are a variety of things you could do from home for extra cash and to keep busy.

Right now my priority is my family and BW. If she decides she wants to spend time with me I want to be available for that. It's not easy to make friends when you're working from home though, which is my problem. I doubt I'll find a new bro on my own, but perhaps we'll make friends with another couple someday.

Sometimes DS plays outside with the neighbor kids and I'll sit outside with the adults while the kids play. So, for now, that's my socializing.

Anyway, I know how you feel. "You've been heard"


Me: FWH (39)
Her: BW (34)
DDay 1: March 2013 (EA/PA that *I* rugswept)
DDay 2: April 2014 (PA with double betrayal. OW was wife's friend)
Married: 13 Years
1 Handsome and Amazing Son (10)

Posts: 379 | Registered: Apr 2014
Alyssamd24
♀ Member
Member # 39005
Default  Posted: 5:24 PM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks,
I do work so its not as bad during the day....im distracted by work. But after I pick up DD and get her home, fed,and in bed I just sit on the couch....and play puzzles on my kindle....not very exciting.

I wish we could visit BH at work....but he is a corrections officer in a prison, so visiting or even talking to him while hes at work is impossible.


"I need to be redeemed to the one I've sinned against because he's all I ever knew of love"

Posts: 871 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Massachusetts
SelfishHusband
♂ Member
Member # 43174
Default  Posted: 5:58 PM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Then do something more exciting. I'm learning to play acoustic guitar. Learn how to do something. Woodworking. Make Jewelry. Quilting. Whatever. Next thing you know you'll be going to quilting meetups.

I don't know where you are in Mass, but here's an example:

http://quilting.meetup.com/cities/us/ma/somerville/

I'm trying to get BW to take swing dance classes with me since they're offered sunday nights. But obviously that depends on her. She actually said she'd take belly dancing classes, but it would have to be during the day. If your work is flexible maybe you could take a class one day a week, or one night a week. Bet your BH would enjoy the fruits of that labor.
You'd probably be tired that evening and not even mind being on your kindle.

Now get up and live, damn you!


Me: FWH (39)
Her: BW (34)
DDay 1: March 2013 (EA/PA that *I* rugswept)
DDay 2: April 2014 (PA with double betrayal. OW was wife's friend)
Married: 13 Years
1 Handsome and Amazing Son (10)

Posts: 379 | Registered: Apr 2014
Actionsoverwords
♂ Member
Member # 41949
Default  Posted: 6:34 PM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there. He will move up in seniority and hopefully, that will give him a shot at a better schedule. Things will change.

I suggest talking to him. Speaking from personal experience, bottling up this stuff leads to resentment and "permission" to do something you might regret.


Me: WH, 30's
Her : BW, 30's, (determinata)
Children: An amazing son.
I am a sex addict, working on myself, and facing the wreckage of my actions.



Posts: 271 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
notsoOK
♂ New Member
Member # 44014
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like you still don't like yourself. Until you can be comfortable hanging around with yourself, how can you ever get to were you want to be? You have to find place were your happy comfortable whether husband there or not. Stuff happened lost friends husbands trust etc. New chapter. Maybe a new hobby full or part time job, gym,support groups meet new people.

Posts: 22 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: South
notsoOK
♂ New Member
Member # 44014
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry saw you do work

Posts: 22 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: South
DrJekyll
♂ Member
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 8:56 PM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

read, read, read check into "your survival instinct is killing you" it echos notsoOK


Moving from Jekyll the destroyer to Jekyll the rebuilder.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

no stop sign = BS always welcome
I do not PM with women


Posts: 697 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: United States
Topic Posts: 8

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