I hear you, sister
Please remember to follow the guidelines of the Recon forum. There is no name calling or venting of the OW/OM in Recon. Thank you.
That I have to find a way to live my life knowing that he had meaningless sex with some skank in her car for nearly a year!!!!
No, you don't. You could kick him to the curb and find another man who is faithful, sacrificial, and loving to live your life with.
I just feel like I'm settling for this man who is not who I married, who broke me in half and who I am now trying to start a new life with.
My advice is, don't "settle" - if he is not the man you married, then find a better one.
Life is not measured by the breaths we take
but by the moments that take our breath away.
BS (me) 40
OW - a friend of WH for 5 years
4 month EA which turned into a 5 month PA
Us together 20 years, married 17 and 6 kids
I always thought I was enough but obviously not!
My response..."I feel like I'm dating a new person bc this isn't the man I married. The man I married was loyal, honest, hard working, loving, thought before he acted. Now this man I'm "dating" is different. He's trying to prove all those qualities to me again, but he's also broken. He's insecure and he needs self esteem. I'm dating a whole different man. Right now, it's good. I don't know if I'll "marry" this man or see a future w him, but things are ok right now. I don't plan on breaking up w this man I'm dating anytime soon but don't know if this is my @forever@.
I'm learning about this man. I'm redefining our relationship. We are getting to know one another. We are spending kits of time together and I'll decide one way or another if he will be my future.
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...
He made me promise I'd never cheat. Cheating disgusted him. 7 years ago, he watched his good friend get cheated on and their kids devastation. He watched the same occur to another friend. He was choked up and felt so bad for his friends and their kids. Then, guess what?
He got sucked into an A. He sat w my "close" friend at sporting events for our kids. She used inside info I gave her. She weaseled her way in and... He opened the door. Hence, his two year A.
Along with it- porn daily, sending perverted pics to her, sleeping on couch bc "back hurt", skipping out of work to screw her, crack motels, screwing her at job sites, screwing her in an abandoned home parking at a cemetary, screwing her on her students desks- she's a TEACHER 15 min after class left. In her moms bed watching their house while traveling, her sisters, her house that he worked on, and my house once
Who the hell is this man? It's like I'm making this up it's so horrific. My close friends who know, have been rocked to the core. Never expected this from my "kind, considerate, hardworking, loyal, loving, attentive husban who is the best dad"
I am right there with you. This sucks really bad. You are definitely not alone. I have practically cried every day for the last 7 months. I have just been up all night tossing and turning about this shit. Mine is remorseful too but there is definitely a side to him I never knew and we were married 22 years when this happened and dated 9 yrs prior.
Daughter - 9
Married 8 years
I hate to say goodbye to a long (mostly happy) life with him but it may be time to be happy on my own...
Hugs to you all...