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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Balancing Ex with SO
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 12:46 AM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I have the horrible position of being in constant contact with XPOS due to the ongoing legal drama of DS20's death and balancing my contact with SO. The problem is that the aftermath of DS's death involves the military, and SO is an officer in the same branch of military. I have convos with ex regularly, and I try hard not to dump them on SO, even though he is in the same branch and has routinely been involved in similar situations. I don't want to scare SO away with all my baggage that doesn't seem to end, but he offers to help because of his position. When I told SO that ex and I were meeting to further discuss issues, his response was to make sure XPOS wasn't twisting things in his favor. I know XPOS's tricks, but I can't help but think about SO's words.

I am so tired of this, but trying to balance this is enough to drive anyone loony...

Not really asking a question, but just venting my frustration. Why can't I have a normal life, even for just a short while???

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 12:51 AM, July 19th (Saturday)]


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1138 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 2:07 AM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Phoenix))))))

I'm sorry you have to deal with your ex so much for such a tragic reason.

Knowing you through SI, I know you are balancing it all as well as anyone can. Doesn't make it easy or perfect, though.

I would say to let your SO in to help where it is appropriate, however. You don't have to carry the whole burden yourself and his expertise makes him a natural advisor. You deserve to have someone's support and help and are allowed to take it.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4190 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix1)))


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4157 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 6:54 AM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You don't have to carry the whole burden yourself and his expertise makes him a natural advisor. You deserve to have someone's support and help and are allowed to take it.

THIS ^^^^^((((((((((Pheonix)))))))))


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5162 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Phoenix)))

Posts: 35409 | Registered: Mar 2011
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let your SO help you if he is offering. People don't do that often enough.

(((Phoenix)))


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3605 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
Topic Posts: 6

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