Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: JaneDoe11 (44948)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Write letter to OW's family and my in-laws?
mamajen00
♀ Member
Member # 43810
Default  Posted: 12:19 AM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by mamajen00 at 6:22 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]


BS- me 37
WH- him 38
1 son - almost 5
Married 8 years
Together 13 years
DDay 4/19/14
9 months of intense EA
2 days of PA

Posts: 58 | Registered: Jun 2014
wk55hn
♂ Member
Member # 44159
Default  Posted: 6:52 AM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Completely agree. You shouldn't have to tolerate lies being told about you or your marriage. Forget the letter, though and do it by phone or in person, not by letter or email. Just my opinion. But your in-laws, who you still will have to deal with for the rest of your life due to the kids, yes, call them up and tell them you want them to know the truth. Keep it short and sweet and offer details or evidence IF they want it. Why should you have to live with a lie like that for the rest of your life?

Posts: 303 | Registered: Jul 2014
cvs2kkids
♂ Member
Member # 41298
Default  Posted: 7:12 AM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My only warning is, you're still fairly close to D-day and we tend out out of anger. If there's even a remote chance of R, it'd usually best to keep the A within a tight knit group.

That said, if the A is a deal breaker, then you have the right to lt the facts be known. Certainly our WS ALWAYS try to re-write marital history.


Philippians 4:6-7

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your min


Posts: 219 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: NB Canada
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I told the in-laws. They knew before I confronted my XWH. They even helped me do surveillance. I told them everything.

I emailed the OW's parents. They wrote back and said it takes 2 to tango, not to blame their daughter, and that my XWH was just as much to blame as the OW, so pretty much, OW's parents did not care. I was glad I told them though, as I think they were going to try to pull off the same old "we just started dating" bit, and I was not about to let them get away with that.

I also emailed the chief of police at XWH and OW's department that they work.

It might not have made much of a difference, but I wanted the truth out there, and I know that XWH was starting with his "the marriage was really bad for a long time" bullshit, even though we had just adopted a newborn baby.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3348 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
mamajen00
♀ Member
Member # 43810
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by mamajen00 at 6:22 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]


BS- me 37
WH- him 38
1 son - almost 5
Married 8 years
Together 13 years
DDay 4/19/14
9 months of intense EA
2 days of PA

Posts: 58 | Registered: Jun 2014
Lark
♀ Member
Member # 43773
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you do go ahead with the letter - keep ti short and to the point. it is very likely that they will rugsweep, downplay, deny, or just shift the blame to you. So don't invest too much emotional or mental energy into them. Instead, I would personally go for a more formal factual-statement and more formally worded about feelings. "We were not separated, he did not divorce me, he did not seek counseling to fix issues. He chose to have an affair and she, despite knowing he was married with a family, chose this as well. I know that as parents you will likely support your child no matter what, but I would like for you to know about the situation."


"Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul." - William Ernest Henley

Posts: 525 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: California
Topic Posts: 6

Return to Forum: Just Found Out Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.