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Newest Member: Tigress5455 (45753)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Haven't been around in awhile
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman

Posts: 26198 | Registered: Aug 2011
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pretty much he is either telling you he is going to cheat on you, or he already has.

I would run.

I am definitely not a cheater, never have been, never will be, and I could never either do that, or suggest doing it.

D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 3493 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
♀ Member
Member # 40564
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh gosh, I am so, so sorry to read this, CS.

I'm with the crew who are VERY surprised that it took him 6 months to come out with what I would call VERY important information. I could never, ever, ever, ever ever ever (you get my point?) be with someone who believed this.

Ugh. Who knows. My ex claimed he could never and would never cheat on a person. We all know how that turned out, if I'm on this site. So someone who is more open about it - I could see it either being much worse (he's basically telling you he will cheat on you) or, possibly? better (he's being open about what he might do, and possibly? will be open in the future?) Who cares, really - I personally couldn't take the risk.

I was also wondering how a person who knew your past could say such a thing. In that light it would be downright cruel. But, knowing that he DIDN'T know, that is slightly different.

I don't know - I get keeping the past the past, but it's also a part of who we are. I am not sure what I will do if/when I'm dating again, but I think I want potential partners to know, eventually, where I'm coming from.

My heart goes out to you! I'm so sorry. Good luck navigating this, it is so hard.

Posts: 117 | Registered: Sep 2013
♀ Member
Member # 42107
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry completeshock

Posts: 142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Los Angeles
♀ Member
Member # 21634
Default  Posted: 11:33 AM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I couldn't date someone who believed in this. Basically it would be in the back of my head that at some point this guy is going to grow tired of being just with me and opt for a side piece rather than letting me go. Or letting me go and now I am totally heart broken.

It would be like dating someone you know is eventually going to hurt you one way or the other.

Cutting your losses now is going to hurt if you really like the guy but the end result is going to feel the same later on anyway.

So sorry. I think telling him in person is the right thing to do.

BS - ME 43
WH 44
Married 20 years
DDay #1 12/28/07
DDay #2 9/18/08
DDay #3 12/28/08
Dday #4 11/18/10 (same OW)
Dday #5 8/22/12 (same OW)
2 beautiful daughters
"Love grows where it is nurtured and dies where it is not!"

Posts: 841 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: NJ
Topic Posts: 25
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