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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Lie detector test-did you feel better?
BrokenheartedUK
♀ Member
Member # 43520
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Like all the crazy things that I've felt since DDay, I'm now considering asking my husband to take a lie detector test, which feels nuts but I'm hoping that it might help me move forward. Did it help you if your BS took one? If it did did I you ever ask for another one or was one enough?


Dday: 4th of January, 2014
WH 50
BS 49
18 years of marriage...three children
One affair PA/EA
"You didn't see me I was falling apart, I was a television version of a person with a broken heart." The National

Posts: 273 | Registered: May 2014
mbbd
♀ Member
Member # 41828
Default  Posted: 5:53 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MUCH! In my case it was a turning point to my healing. It was a condition to R. My 2 year antiversary is Sunday and I can say that without that test, I would have filed.
I will not be asking him to take another one... I think he knows that I would not work toward R again. It was very close to just being a dealbreaker for me.

He may have many reasons to not want it. Put your needs first. Not always so easy to do but try.
I unfortuantely had to push hard for it and told my H that him allowing me to be in pain when he has the power to help with my healing spoke volumes.

It was a turning point for me. I wish you peace.

[This message edited by mbbd at 6:00 PM, July 21st (Monday)]


Posts: 77 | Registered: Dec 2013
BrokenheartedUK
♀ Member
Member # 43520
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good to know!


Dday: 4th of January, 2014
WH 50
BS 49
18 years of marriage...three children
One affair PA/EA
"You didn't see me I was falling apart, I was a television version of a person with a broken heart." The National

Posts: 273 | Registered: May 2014
BrokenheartedUK
♀ Member
Member # 43520
Default  Posted: 6:04 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good to know!


Dday: 4th of January, 2014
WH 50
BS 49
18 years of marriage...three children
One affair PA/EA
"You didn't see me I was falling apart, I was a television version of a person with a broken heart." The National

Posts: 273 | Registered: May 2014
Jls0320
♀ Member
Member # 41192
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read on here a lot of people it has helped them, mine did the exact opposite. My WS failed all 4 questions, but yet still swears on his life he was telling the truth.


Me: 33 BS 2 boys (2yr & 5yr)
Him: 33 WH, sex addict, then 12 mos EA/2 mos PA with co-worker whore
Together 15yrs, married 7yrs
Dday 9/17/2013, more discovered 1/26/14
NC broken 7/28/14- pathetic piece of crap PA began.
Separated, R during divor

Posts: 503 | Registered: Nov 2013
ItsaClimb
♀ Member
Member # 37107
Default  Posted: 2:39 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband went and took a lie detector and passed all the questions. Initially it did make me feel better, but then I began doubting the results. I think a small percentage of people can pass the test even when they are lying. I honestly don't know how or why, but I STILL don't believe he is telling the truth, even after the lie detector. So, nope, I don't feel better.


BS 46
Together 29 yrs, M 25 years
2 daughters 24yo(married with a brand new little daughter) & 19yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later

Posts: 1024 | Registered: Oct 2012
Sunnydaysahead
♀ Member
Member # 43756
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it can work for a lot of people. It didn't work out so well for us. My FWH took one a couple of years ago and passed, even though he was lying. On our DDay in May 2014, he admitted he read several articles on the internet about how to pass the test and surprisingly the techniques worked. I guess this is the reason polygraphs are not admissible in U.S. courts.

He is a pretty calm, not-very-emotional guy by nature, so the test evidently wasn't very difficult to beat. Going into the test, he wasn't sure whether he would pass or fail. His passing the test meant our true DDay was postponed by 2 years.

Don't get me wrong, I think they can be a valuable tool. I probably wouldn't give advance notice if I were going to make my spouse take one. I wish you luck on this rocky journey!


Posts: 81 | Registered: Jun 2014
Topic Posts: 7

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