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Reconciliation     Print Topic    
User Topic: Well, isn't *this* funny.
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 6:12 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, you know that point in reconciliation where the WS gets all paranoid that you are going to have an RA and starts doing things like reading your SI posts and/or PMs? And then has the nerve to try issue YOU a boundaries lecture? Even though you have nothing to hide and keep yourself logged in to SI at all times on the common family computer?

This is extra hilarious when your WS has their own SI username that they've used....mmmm....let's say twice, but chooses to creep via yours instead. I know this is something somewhat common, but man....


I have a competition in me.

Posts: 2262 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: City in the Midwest/Best In The Whole Wide World
TheIrishGirl
♀ Member
Member # 43496
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH finds participation on these boards somewhat suspect. WTF. He's the one that cheated via message boards. But they were porn & sex ones. Try again.


Me: 31, BW Him: 38, WH
2 children (ours) 7/11 & 3/14
D-day 4/18/14 I saw his 'other' email

Posts: 715 | Registered: May 2014
mhca
♂ Member
Member # 41920
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Projection, anyone?


Me: BH 47 STBXWW 47 (Lklb5)
M 19 years, DS 15, DS 11
DD#1: 12/24/2013
TT/Broke NC/False R
DD#2: 4/15/2014
TT 4/23, 4/24, 5/31, 7/19
Divorcing

Sample recovery plan, feedback welcome: http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=539961


Posts: 876 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
tired girl
♀ Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is there a reason why she is all of the sudden feeling insecure about things?


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 5156 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
deena04
♀ Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah, insecurity over their own deeds! That is what it looks like to me anyhow.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
L-I-B-E-R-A-T-I-N-G ME

Posts: 1237 | Registered: Dec 2013
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know your post shows irony, and you got to get that out. Unfortunately I feel this kind of posting can regress your reconciliation efforts. When I am lucky enough to meet the members face to face, I often get a better idea of who they are. I really hope that when I met you and your W that it wasn't a charade (Which I don't think it was) because my gut was telling me that you two have a great shot at reconciling.

So kudos to you for being open with your postings and PMs. Hopefully you can encourage her to open up and dig down to what might be driving this fear. Communication is a key. Validation is a key. Patience is a key. Listening is a key. As well as Compassion is a key. For either one of you has the sole power to derail R. It will take the two of you working together to make R succeed.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 53020 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 10:02 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks to everyone who read my little sarcastic vent. After reading Moo's advice, I've decided that this is something dealt with more appropriately privately. Thanks to all.


I have a competition in me.

Posts: 2262 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: City in the Midwest/Best In The Whole Wide World
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 8:52 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some random thoughts...

I've decided that this is something dealt with more appropriately privately.

That's great, assuming 'privately' means direct discussions with your W inside or outside MC.

And it's really nice to have a place to vent.

Have you considered placing each other's threads or posts off-limits to each other? That won't work perfectly for folks who vent a lot, but it gives each of you some safety.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10581 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Red  Posted: 10:40 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Locking per OP's request.

Posts: 36489 | Registered: Mar 2011
Topic Posts: 9

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