Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: surprised1 (45370)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Feeling the Pain Today
KatyDo
♀ Member
Member # 41245
Default  Posted: 9:15 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not sure if fwh and I are going to be able to reconcile - I'm wondering if my fwh has been setting me up to get me out of his life. I feel like there might be someone else again. We've been doing this temporary separation, and I've been trying to deal with either outcome, but there is so much grief pouring out about this potential loss. At the same time, I remember that this has been a very destructive relationship and so perhaps it is better that it end. We are on a week of no contact, and I do feel lonely. I'm hoping to hear from SI-ers with advice or suggestions.


Married 7 years, together for 14
Me: BS Him: chronic boundary issues, EA for 2 years, DD Spring 2013

Posts: 194 | Registered: Nov 2013
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Katy)))

I think now would be a good time to focus on the 180. Strengthening yourself will help you get to a better place. What you are going through is so much for 1 person to handle. Venting at IC or journaling can be very cathartic. Sending you strength.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 10:37 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]


Posts: 35933 | Registered: Mar 2011
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((KatyDo)))) I'm sorry you're hurting, honey. I agree with Jo2love - focus on the 180 and build your strength. No matter what the future brings, you will need it.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25776 | Registered: Aug 2011
KatyDo
♀ Member
Member # 41245
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks so much for this. I'm going to look up that 180 again.

I got in touch with a counselor and am feeling a bit stronger. I think in this case part of the 180 means we either both work on creating a great marriage or I call it quits. I'll be returning to the house next month - I've read if you continue to live separately reconciliation just doesn't happen.

I'll need to have his full commitment, and be at the right priority in his life or it won't work at all. In the meantime I'm going to focus on getting strong and advocating for myself in the marriage and the rest of my life.


Married 7 years, together for 14
Me: BS Him: chronic boundary issues, EA for 2 years, DD Spring 2013

Posts: 194 | Registered: Nov 2013
Topic Posts: 4

Return to Forum: Reconciliation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.