I marry my SO in less than two weeks. This weekend we were both feeling off, and not communicating well with one another. It escalated into an off and on fight/discussion on Sunday culminating in considering postponing the wedding. We talked, shouted, cried, but never stormed off. We asked if a few days apart would help - we chose not to. We chose to stay, hold one another. We made an emergency call to our counselor for the next day.
Yesterday morning before the appointment, left with residual feelings, I let my immediate family know that we were in crisis and were addressing it - a tough conversation to have.
Come to the appointment - it turns out that both SO and I were having some related fears and anxieties. I am nervous about repeating mistakes I made in my past marriage, but know that this relationship is so far away from that. I am a different person now, my SO is completely different from my XH, the fears are irrational. He is afraid that my parents over-protective nature will impact our marriage. I have built some boundaries with them, and need to include him in those boundaries more than I have.
My past experience with fights in relationships was my XH. The only time we fought was at the end - so they were relationship imploding fights. This makes me more skittish of arguing. I never expected residual fears about getting married again, and that caught me off guard. But the best surprise is that SO and I worked through the communication block. Heard each other's fears. Made a plan to address those fears. We are strong together.