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Newest Member: Momof3bz (44929)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What to do with the pain?
flayed
♀ Member
Member # 41875
Default  Posted: 11:39 AM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

9 months in things are going fairly well in R. Triggered yesterday and I am still floating in a sea of pain. What do you do with the pain of knowing your spouse greatly enjoyed having sex with another???


BS(Me)-39
WH-39
Married 13 yrs, Together 19 yrs
4 kids under 8
2 yr LTA
DDay- Oct.29, 2013

Posts: 88 | Registered: Jan 2014
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gently, I recommend facing it and feeling it in your body. In my experience, that lets the pain go. It's a lot of pain, though, so it may take a number of iterations of feeling and letting go.

Your pain is real. It's part of the experience. But you have to go through it - your body won't let you bypass it.

(((flayed)))


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10066 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
flayed
♀ Member
Member # 41875
Default  Posted: 12:14 AM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Sisoon

I am going to let your wise,kind words sink in. I think the practice will be hard. Harder for me than most because I tend to numb myself emotionally. But I will start.


BS(Me)-39
WH-39
Married 13 yrs, Together 19 yrs
4 kids under 8
2 yr LTA
DDay- Oct.29, 2013

Posts: 88 | Registered: Jan 2014
Topic Posts: 3

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