Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Tryin2staykewl (45320)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Terrible Dream. Advice?
wheredoigo
♀ Member
Member # 42327
Default  Posted: 10:43 PM, July 23rd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I awoke at around 4am this morning straight from a terrible dream. It was my first dream ever with the OM in it. I immediately woke my BS and told him every detail about it. At least it was only 5 minutes before he had to get up to take our DD to the airport for an early flight, not an hour before. When I woke, it was so real that I felt that same fear and shame of worrying about my BS's reaction. It was hard knowing it was beyond my control and that it would hurt him. He thanked me for telling him right away, but there were residual effects for the rest of the day.

In the dream my BS and I were at a open air outside cafe sitting with friends. At the time when the dream started, I saw sitting on the OM's lap right next to my BS. I immediately realized I was sitting on the OM, screamed and jumped up. My BS looked over and saw OM and was like "WTF are you doing here??!" to the OM, the OM tried to mutter some lame excuse that he was right there all along and my BH turned around and punched the living shite out of him. Everyone at our table erupted in applause, then my dream moved to a completely different scene with a random dream about my mom.

On top of all of this disgusting dream, I've had some health issues lately and today was once of those rare days where I only have the energy to barely sit up and the only thing to remedy it is sleeping most of the day (which doesn't happen but maybe once or twice a year) to regain my energy back. Unfortunately, my BS thought that was due to my dream, but it wasn't. This made him angry with me the entire day and there was little I could physically do to comfort him. It's rare that I feel helpless in these situations, but today was one of them. We ended up getting out of the house for dinner and discussing the day a bit more, but it still is awful that I've hurt him yet again.

So here I am scratching my head as to why would the OM show up in my dream? Why the HECK was I sitting on his lap when the dream first began? It made me feel better that my initial response was to jump up and scream as soon as I realized it, but why was he there?!

The only "good" part of the dream was watching my brave BS punch the crap out of him.

Has anyone else experienced dreams like this as a WW or with their WW? How did you approach it? Did they come back again? What helped if your WW had this happen? How can I comfort him? He leaves tomorrow morning for a 3 day trip and this just awful timing.

[This message edited by wheredoigo at 10:45 PM, July 23rd (Wednesday)]


1st marriage BS to xSAWH (34)
WW-2nd marriage (me) 33 to BS(Jt8d) 35
It's important to heal yourself in a healthy way from all hurt or it will hurt you and the ones you love more than the original hurt before.

Posts: 217 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Midwest
wheredoigo
♀ Member
Member # 42327
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


1st marriage BS to xSAWH (34)
WW-2nd marriage (me) 33 to BS(Jt8d) 35
It's important to heal yourself in a healthy way from all hurt or it will hurt you and the ones you love more than the original hurt before.

Posts: 217 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Midwest
Schadenfreude
♂ Member
Member # 43075
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't interpret dreams usually. But is it possible,that you are somehow depending on BH to rescue you from any thoughts of OM?


BTW, I understand being sick.


Posts: 892 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Midwest
wheredoigo
♀ Member
Member # 42327
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's an interesting thought. My first impression was maybe it was a symbol of being afraid we will run into him again one day. He lives in a town over from my hometown.

My BH and I also had recently went to the movie Tammy which was unexpectedly triggery for both of us, but we did like that it had an interesting truthful ending regarding infidelity. Could that of been part of it?



1st marriage BS to xSAWH (34)
WW-2nd marriage (me) 33 to BS(Jt8d) 35
It's important to heal yourself in a healthy way from all hurt or it will hurt you and the ones you love more than the original hurt before.

Posts: 217 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Midwest
kate0421
♀ Member
Member # 40819
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's possible the fear of running into him could be causing this dream. They were both there and you H "saw" it. You might also like to think of your husband as being the heroic man ( the applauding) I think it can really boil down to your feelings and thoughts you were having durring your dream.
On another note. . as a BS, yes it would be hard to hear that my WS was having a dream, but if I was knocking out the OW in his dream and it made him happy that's not as bad. I would also have a fear that he wasn't telling me all of the dream, wondering if there was a intimate or sexual part or that he misses them. But all in all I would appreciate that I was told and its another step towards trust. When my WS tells me things I would/could never find out, it makes somewhat of a relieving feeling and makes me feel one tiny step closer to R.


ME: BS
HIM: WS
Together over 9yrs
2 children
DDAY 9/23/2013- 2 ONS (2009-2010)
TT. 5/14/2014- slept with OW1 twice

Posts: 274 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Tampa Bay Florida
Topic Posts: 5

Return to Forum: Reconciliation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.