Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Cche (45068)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Is this a sign? WS Welcome
deena04
♀ Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 6:43 AM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The further out we get and more concrete in D plans I decide, I find that I am "noticing" other men. I was content and in love with my hubby until finding out that I didn't even know him. I have not and will not act on this until our situation is done, but I find others interesting and wonder about the dating world down the road. Is this a solid sign that I am on the right path of getting out of this mess? Do others that finally decide to D start feeling this way once coming to a solid decision about D? Again, not acting on it, but honestly am feeling like it would be nice to move forward someday and not alone.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want out!

Posts: 1000 | Registered: Dec 2013
ChangeMaker
♂ Member
Member # 43899
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am feeling this way myself. Last night, a woman asked me to play tennis with her this weekend and I accepted. I'm not going to let anything happen yet either, but I'm definitely noticing the attention of women - something I never paid any heed to while in a relationship.


"Everything works if you let it." - Travis W. Redfish

DDay - June 7, 2014
Me - 43
WW - 41
DD - 6 and 3
Pulling the Plug


Posts: 337 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Ontario
DrJekyll
♂ Member
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My BS has not set in on D. We are still working for R. But in our discussions she has told me: "before she never looked. But now with the huge challenge to her world view and self confidence she notices more people." I think that this is completely normal.


Moving from Jekyll the destroyer to Jekyll the rebuilder.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

no stop sign = BS always welcome
I do not PM with women


Posts: 629 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: United States
NeverAgain2013
♀ Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think once you lose respect for your cheating spouse, you see things a little differently. Sometimes, part of that process also includes losing some of the emotional investment you had in them as well (it did for me, anyway). While I wasn't ready to jump headfirst into another committed relationship after I moved out of his place and into my own, I sure wasn't going to sit in the dark every night for the next 5 months, crying into my beer and lamenting my loss, either. At that point, I felt like I'd already invested more time in him than I should have, and wasn't going to waste any more time on him.

And I didn't.

You sound as though you're starting to see the possibilities of one day being free to meet other people and enjoying being single again.

I loved it. I highly recommend it.


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1766 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
HeBrokeVows
♀ Member
Member # 43252
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I swore up and down I would never ever be in another relationship or even look at another man. But here I am 4 1/2 months out and I realize the past few weeks I don't need To bury my love life with this marriage. The thought of remarrying seems still something I would never want but I do believe I deserve to be loved and respected some day when this is all said and done. I just don't know how it would happen when all my energy is in my children. There's nothing left to nurture another relationship.


Dday March 12, 2014. Found out my husband of almost 10 years was having an affair, first emotional then physical for 6 months.

Posts: 392 | Registered: Apr 2014
deena04
♀ Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes; your statements all ring true. I'm not ready or willing to do that yet, but see that it could happen down the road. It seems like part of the realization that I'm done. My fear was that it would come off wrong when I brought it up. Just wondering if I'm normal-ish. :)


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want out!

Posts: 1000 | Registered: Dec 2013
mhca
♂ Member
Member # 41920
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow is this ever true. For the first time in decades I'm really paying attention to the women around me. And noticing that some of them are looking back.


Me: BH 47 STBXWW 47 (Lklb5)
M 19 years, DS 15, DS 11
DD#1: 12/24/2013
TT/Broke NC/False R
DD#2: 4/15/2014
TT 4/23, 4/24, 5/31, 7/19
Divorcing

Sample recovery plan, feedback welcome: http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=539961


Posts: 644 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
Topic Posts: 7

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.