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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: loss of focus
DrJekyll
♂ Member
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I seem to have lost my ability to focus on things the last few days, and my emotions are all over the place. I cannot concentrate at work, exhausted all the time. And within a few hours, I bounce from happy to sad to content to remorseful, like my emotions are on a big wheel and the wheel keeps spinning.

Has anyone else felt this way? Any suggestions?


I am no longer Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. I am me, and they are both part of me.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

I do not PM with Women


Posts: 830 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Midwest
familyfirst
♀ Member
Member # 42651
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like depression to me. Are you on AD? I take an over the counter St John's Wort and I think it helps with exhaustion and mood swings.

Posts: 235 | Registered: Mar 2014
TheWorstCase
♀ Member
Member # 44085
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DrJekyll

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling that way. I've had a rough day too, and am also feeling really anxious and unfocused. Do you have something in the back of your mind that you need to talk about? If so, talk about it on SI or to someone in person. Another option, besides antidepressants or supplements, is to practice some serious self-care. If you are able to, go run or do jumping jacks or stretches. Listen to some relaxing/positive music. Cook a healthy meal. Watch a cute or funny video on youtube. One small task at a time, and before you know it, you will start to feel incrementally better. If none of this helps, keep asking yourself why.

One thing that gave me a sense of accomplishment today was finishing, sharing, then editing 2 letters of apology. Talk about emotionally draining!

Here is one of my "why?" exercises. Someone else posted about this earlier, so I tried it. (thanks, whoever that was!!) It gave me that feeling of "Okay, that's a pretty good approximation of why, I can move on to a new topic in my head".
____

-Why do I have an unhealthy relationship with work?
o Because I donít value the work I am doing.
- Why donít I value the work I am doing?
o I have developed a negative mindset toward work. It doesnít matter how many deadlines I give myself, and how bad I try to feel about NOT doing the work. If I donít value it, it wonít get done.
- Why have I developed a negative mindset toward the work I am doing?
o Because I worked in an environment where people were not respectable, and I associate the work with the people, the place, and my past.

and so on...until you feel done.
Keep posting, and I hope the rest of your day is much better! =^..^=

[This message edited by TheWorstCase at 1:45 PM, July 24th (Thursday)]


D-Months April-June 2014
Me: WW, 28
Him: 29, Findingstrength2
I don't PM with men.

Posts: 82 | Registered: Jul 2014
DrJekyll
♂ Member
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

familyfirst - I am not on AD, too afraid to not feel it.

theworstcase - quite familiar with the why exercises. I use them regularly.

It is exhausting just going to work. my director has 70% of my NPD mothers attributes. And I still work with an AP. I have had several job interviews since dday came in 2nd on one but still here. I have yet another 2nd interview coming up next week. And my 14 year anniversary. I am feeling spent.


I am no longer Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. I am me, and they are both part of me.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

I do not PM with Women


Posts: 830 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Midwest
sorrowfulmate
♂ Member
Member # 43441
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hang in there DJ,

We go in cycles. I am at my job here for 14 years, they put me down to 20 hours. You know the scam... we have financial problems... yada yada yada...

never mind that the guys who own the place one is in Chili with his family for vacation and the other is on the Jersey Shore in a large rental...

I don't work with my AP, but my boss is a manipulative little man who is a micro manager.

I have been looking too. Finally started looking at possibly becoming a recruiter. Who knows.. .

Take it easy.


Me-WS 50
Her-BS 50 Questioningall
5 kids
Dday 1 12/12
Dday 2 - 3/14 EAs, 2 ONS, 1 LTA
TT until 7/14 when I gave a timeline
"Good night, Sorrowful. Good work. Sleep well. I can always divorce you in the morning." Dread BW Roberts

Posts: 237 | Registered: May 2014
Imabrokenman
♂ Member
Member # 43886
Default  Posted: 8:02 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DrJ -

You have helped me on several occasions, I hope my words can bring you some assistance...

You are on the right path, and help others that are on their way. No wonder why you are exhaused - work, BS, everyone you help here - you need to take a break. Relax. Realize you are doing what you can to heal, you are on the right path, you are improving yourself. You are not a bad person, you did a bad thing, and now you are on a path that makes you a better person. Take a deep breath and then take another.

You are a good person. You are doing the right thing. You are not defined by what you have done, just what you are doing NOW.

You have helped many people here, and they all appreciate it. I know I do.

Thanks for your help. I hope these words help you find peace within yourself.


Me: WH (49)
Her: BW (48)
DDay 1: June 9, 2014
DDay 2: June 23, 2014
Married: 19 Years
No children

Currently living apart, unsure of reconciliation. In IC.


Posts: 69 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Richmond, VA
DrJekyll
♂ Member
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 6:42 AM, July 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thanks everyone for your encouragement.

in my why exercises that night I came to a new realization.

I had thought that I was no longer accepting external validation, but I have really still been getting validated by my BS. So I am on to a new journey and my BS and I are working through trying to figure out how to validate myself.


I am no longer Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. I am me, and they are both part of me.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

I do not PM with Women


Posts: 830 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Midwest
sorrowfulmate
♂ Member
Member # 43441
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, July 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This book has been helping me with my validation issues. Self esteem comes from you not from outside.

I spen years trying to gain the worlds approval now I am trying to do less of that.

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne http://www.amazon.com/dp/1572248912/ref=cm_sw_r_udp_awd_q9K0tb0KGDW2N


Me-WS 50
Her-BS 50 Questioningall
5 kids
Dday 1 12/12
Dday 2 - 3/14 EAs, 2 ONS, 1 LTA
TT until 7/14 when I gave a timeline
"Good night, Sorrowful. Good work. Sleep well. I can always divorce you in the morning." Dread BW Roberts

Posts: 237 | Registered: May 2014
somethingremorse
♂ Member
Member # 42047
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, July 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Give yourself permission to feel that way. It might not be a BIG problem, but just the normal ebb and flow.

One of the things I am getting better with is perspective. If I am angry, it doesn't mean everything is falling apart. If BW goes a day without saying something to me, it just might be because we are both busy, and not that she hates me. Just be honest and mindful of your feelings.

"If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being. You'd be a game-show host." Veronica Sawyer:


Me: WH (40s)
DDay 11/03/13
In MC and IC

Posts: 741 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Pennsylvania
Topic Posts: 9

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