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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: being vulnerable again
hopefulmother
♀ Member
Member # 38790
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is amazing where anxiety will take you. From my previous post...my fWH has started at his new store. This store will be his final store. We get to move home. But, it will be another month till I can join him while we close on a house. I had anxiety about him working with new woman to meet. Sort of his test to see if he has changed. I had the outlook/mindset that the previous AP's were out of the picture and he had no opportunities to cheat.

He has done wonderful. He told me about any encounters with cashiers that he deems questionable behavior. He calls and texts often. On text: "I miss you guys. :( Hope there is a part of u that misses me too. :P". I did miss him. I was so happy I missed him. So I decided to be vulnerable again. I realized that part of our intimacy/estrangement issues is being vulnerable to him again. I text "I do miss you. Alot." I got rewarded with a ":D" text from him. It just lit me up inside. A truly loving happy moment full of warmth. He even surprised me last night and made the two hour drive home since he opened then closed.

Things are getting comfortable again. We even discuss posts on SI without triggering. Getting each others opinions and relating them to our situations or feeling empathy for "EACH" other. He even posted on one we were feeling especially opinionated about. He never posts, just reads. Who knew we could discuss SI calmly over the phone? He never posted before for fear of me reading them and misconstruing what he wrote and making R harder. In addition he would get mad that SI would trigger me. Now, he sees that his bad choices were truly the cause of these triggers.


Me-BW 39
WH-39
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends for 20yrs dating since 2000
Married 9yrs with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 933 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: PA
TheIrishGirl
♀ Member
Member # 43496
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That sounds like a few good days despite the challenging circumstances. I hope it keeps up. And gets better when you're together.

WH & I had a great 'chat' via emoticons the other day and it reminded me of us 'before'. One of those, "it feels good to feel good" moments.

Hold on to them.


Me: 31, BW Him: 38, WH
2 children (ours) 7/11 & 3/14
D-day 4/18/14 I saw his 'other' email

Posts: 436 | Registered: May 2014
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad that things are starting off so well! Continue being vigilant, of course, but do enjoy the times when the rollercoaster goes up!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4802 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
hopefulmother
♀ Member
Member # 38790
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks you two! The same right back!

[This message edited by hopefulmother at 7:11 PM, July 24th (Thursday)]


Me-BW 39
WH-39
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends for 20yrs dating since 2000
Married 9yrs with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 933 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: PA
Topic Posts: 4

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