Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: 2ndtimernd (45746)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Going back to place you caught your ws? Bring wh or not?
MomtoRoses
♀ Member
Member # 42271
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, so I caught my wh last summer by finding texts on his phone. It was awful. Truly the worst day of my life and then many more disclosures bc that was only 1 affair.

We were visiting my mom. This summer it is my mom's 80th birthday. We will be staying in her guest room AGAIN. How am I going to handle this?? Wh says he wants it to work, goes to sa, sees an ic etc. He is waaaaay short on empathy and is overwhelmed when I'm feeling triggered. Staying at a hotel is out of question bc of $$$ as this past year has put us several thousand in debt.

I can't not go to my mom's birthday, but I don't have to take him. He says he wants to go, but I know he will have trouble supporting me. Should I just leave him home??


i'm the bs
he is the wh.
7 ddays: affairs, online activities, ea, pa, longterm pa,longterm ea, one night stands.
I'm the last to know.

Posts: 85 | Registered: Jan 2014
kate0421
♀ Member
Member # 40819
Default  Posted: 8:04 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it a drive or really far? Maybe go alone and see how you feel? Can he drive up later if you change your mind? I don't think there is anything wrong with going alone IMO you should put yourself and your needs first, if that means going alone the first or first few times then so be it. I think it's nice he want to go with you, maybe he wants to be there to support you and prove he won't let you down? But if you choose to go alone he should respect your decision. GL


ME: BS
HIM: WS
Together over 10yrs
2 children
DDAY 9/23/2013- 2 ONS (2009-2010)
TT. 5/14/2014- slept with OW1 twice

Posts: 280 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Florida
Mochagurl
♀ Member
Member # 14660
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read a book that suggested going back to the places that the OP and your spouse were at and you create your own new memories there.

Just a thought.


Me: BS-55
Him: WS-55
Married: 35 years
DD 36, DD 26, DS 22, DD 19
You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

Posts: 243 | Registered: May 2007 | From: Ohio
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read a book that suggested going back to the places that the OP and your spouse were at and you create your own new memories there.

Just a thought.

Just be sure not to do it when you're really pissed off, so those memories don't involve maniacal laughter, fire, lurid glows on the horizon, that kind of stuff.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7572 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 4

Return to Forum: Reconciliation Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.