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User Topic: Do you think this was the first time?
jendo
♀ Member
Member # 43059
Default  Posted: 2:28 PM, July 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This was my wh's first a as far as I can tell, however, it is apparent that he had lots of boundary issues over the years. I found an email about an impromptu kiss while in a drubken state at a work event ( the woman was mortified to find out he was married after she kissed him good night), lots if inappropriate messaging on fb, a lap dance at a strip club, etc). I think he gets it now and seems truly horrified at his past behavior. At least I hope so. I know I was. I had no clue about any if this u til recently.

Posts: 226 | Registered: Apr 2014
Shockleader
♂ Member
Member # 36827
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, July 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Looking back, yes, I strongly believe my exPOS cheated on me 9 years before D-Day. She told me unsolicited/outa the blue that two separate people from work had asked her to go to a hotel room, but she said no. She always talked about other cheating friends/coworkers, but how she never would.

Looking back it seems like a lot of mega projection, especially when at the time her wardrobe changed, and she was into fitness. I'm all but certain looking back that she did have an A then. Will never know, and more importantly don't give two snaps and a fuck if she did.


D-Day spring 2012
Me BS 47
Xcheater 44
One DD 19
Married 23 years
Divorced 12/23/13 Fu*king A!

The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...


Posts: 652 | Registered: Sep 2012
whyowhyme
♀ New Member
Member # 34062
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, July 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I believe he cheated for years. He just didnt tell me

Posts: 14 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: whyowhyme
susan1989
♀ New Member
Member # 32640
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, July 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I found out about OW #1, he swore he had never cheated on me before her. When I found out about OW #2, he said those were the only two ever and he was faithful for the first almost 20 years.

We separated after the second DD with OW #2, and three days ago while cleaning out an old bureau drawer, I found a woman's business card from 5+ years ago with a the name and address of a hotel in another city, handwritten on the back. He had it hidden in his desk drawer.

Uh-huh...

Back to my saying: Liars Lie. He would never confess his A with OW#2 until I put the photo proof in front of his face. He wants me to think he's a good guy and insists he is not a serial cheater. It was "just those two", and only "because I was frustrating him."


BS - me (44)
STBXWH (45)
M 20 years, three kids
D-Day June, 2011
D-Day #2 Sept, 2013
Separated after D-Day #3 Dec 2013
Divorcing 2014

Posts: 33 | Registered: Jun 2011
TheThreeYearFool
♀ Member
Member # 41218
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, July 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope.

WH swears this was the only time; that the only thing close to it was a friend's girlfriend kissing him (another drunken chubby blonde, exactly what I'm not).

I don't believe him. Too many things don't add up. He always had the means. We kept money separate. He always had the opportunity. I didn't mind nights out with the guys, and I used to work weekends and would travel alone at least twice a year to see my parents out of state.

Means, opportunity... I just didn't believe he had motive. Until D Day.

Now that I know that he's capable of being unfaithful I have no reason to believe he was ever faithful.

I'm still here because I believe people can change if they want to change. If he doesn't want to change I know I'm free to leave.


Me - BW 36
Him - WH 41
Together 12 years, married 7
3 year LTA with former coworker
DDay 10/29/13
He says he wants to R... can I live with what he's done?

Posts: 164 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: United States
Sleepingbeauty
♀ Member
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 6:26 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What do you think? I say even if you can't find any evidence listen to your inner voice. Listen very carefully because I find it knows more than you're willing to admit to.

My WH claimed to only have one affair. What he is doing now he does not consider an affair. He very involved with another woman at this point in time. I say affair. He says not because she is his future.

The answer may lie in what he considers an affair. To me this line is clear, any emotional, or physical relationship I am not a part of.

I would bet he cheated before and got away with it.


Posts: 330 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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