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User Topic: "I'll get up with baby when wife earns as much as I do"...
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 12:52 AM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My Dday was a while ago and I can't remember when this statement was made, but Monster said this to me at some point.

He "supposedly" was at a conference/meeting and, according to him, some guy was acting all *hot shit* and cocked off with my titled statement.

My response to hearing this was: "A crying baby doesn't give a shit about how much money someone makes. That crying baby just wants comfort and to know that s/he's loved."

Monster has a seriously bad habit of *telling* me what he's done by recounting stories of mystery *others*......I seriously think that HE may have been the one who made that statement at that conference/meeting......


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7994 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 1:10 AM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a douchebag.


I refuse to let a wound ruin me.
**Guts over fear.**

Posts: 2064 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 3:14 AM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, he's a total prick. I know he presented you with a mask, though, so it's not your fault you were with him. I mean, can you imagine if he had presented himself to you exactly as he is??? You would have laughed (or slapped) him off of the face of Earth!

Posts: 11651 | Registered: Mar 2008
FixYou71
♀ Member
Member # 42654
Default  Posted: 3:16 AM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a douchebag

What he said.


BS: 43
H: 49
Dday #1 Oct 2007 (Porn for 2 yrs)
Dday #2 May 2013 (Porn for 5 more yrs))
Dday#3 May 2014 (finally admitted to drunk kissing OW in 1994: the 2nd drunken kiss with another woman during our M)
DD 21 and DS 17
Married 1993

Posts: 451 | Registered: Mar 2014
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My xWH did this, told stories about the bad behavior of others that I now realize are things he did. Thus now I have the knowledge of how he pushed a woman into a closet & fucked her when he was posted to Yemen.

It's weird though, how these memories pop up into your mind. It's disheartening realizing how long we both put up with such nonsense & gave these horrible excuse for men the benefit of the doubt.


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3074 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
Lark
♀ Member
Member # 43773
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband made a couple of jerk comments to me in the past year. I called him out on each one and he seemed to snap out of it when I did that and realize he was being an ass.

Now I suspect it was just part of his slew of justifications of why he was unhappy.

i.e. one statement. I am almost finished with graduate school and was in bad depression for about 1.5 years after the baby was born, very burnt out. I told him I would love to be able to stay home with our girls, just for a year. He responded "If you do, all this *indicates around the house* better be clean all the time. I'm not helping anymore. That'll be YOUR job." I told him that yes I would be taking over the bulk of the house responsibilities, I did that anyway, but that I wouldn't be his freaking maid or personal servant. If he made a mess, he could clean it up. If he dirtied a coffee cup, he could take 10 seconds to wash it. He told me no, none of that would be his job, his job would be to bring in the money.

I went off on him. To top it off, he wasn't helping around the house much as it was!! He would sleep as long as he possibly could, take naps in the middle of the day, and would always wait til "tomorrow" to clean up any messes he'd made or the kdis had made while I was working (now I know he was texting the women most of the time, so no wonder he didn't clean it up).

Oooh! makes me mad!


"Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul." - William Ernest Henley

Posts: 509 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: California
Lark
♀ Member
Member # 43773
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband made a couple of jerk comments to me in the past year. I called him out on each one and he seemed to snap out of it when I did that and realize he was being an ass.

Now I suspect it was just part of his slew of justifications of why he was unhappy.

i.e. one statement. I am almost finished with graduate school and was in bad depression for about 1.5 years after the baby was born, very burnt out. I told him I would love to be able to stay home with our girls, just for a year. He responded "If you do, all this *indicates around the house* better be clean all the time. I'm not helping anymore. That'll be YOUR job." I told him that yes I would be taking over the bulk of the house responsibilities, I did that anyway, but that I wouldn't be his freaking maid or personal servant. If he made a mess, he could clean it up. If he dirtied a coffee cup, he could take 10 seconds to wash it. He told me no, none of that would be his job, his job would be to bring in the money.

I went off on him. To top it off, he wasn't helping around the house much as it was!! He would sleep as long as he possibly could, take naps in the middle of the day, and would always wait til "tomorrow" to clean up any messes he'd made or the kdis had made while I was working (now I know he was texting the women most of the time, so no wonder he didn't clean it up).

Oooh! makes me mad!


"Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul." - William Ernest Henley

Posts: 509 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: California
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 11:54 AM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a douchebag

I'll second that!


36 BH
Sons 16 and 8 Daughters 11, 7, 5.
Ex and STBX both cheated, thinking of getting a dog as a companion after D. At least they're loyal.

Posts: 964 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: MidWest
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 5:02 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe HE will be worth enough when he can carry a baby for 10 months in his belly and squeeze it out of his private parts. Then, maybe then, he will get the respect you already EARNED.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1466 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
RightTrack
♀ Member
Member # 36976
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of my ex-neighbors had twins on top of a two year old. She got so frustrated with him having this mentality that she divorced him just so he'd have to clean his own house and take care of the kids half the time.

Posts: 619 | Registered: Sep 2012
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 11:54 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Monster has a seriously bad habit of *telling* me what he's done by recounting stories of mystery *others*.....

Omgosh my ws always tells stories about the guys at work..I know its him. Talks about how they look at porn all day and hook up sites, how disgusting they are

Gonna...if he made that statement just wow


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5020 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Softcentre
Member
Member # 39166
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, July 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, slightly freaking out...

The Arse has said over the course of a number of years, about 'people he knows' who:

- are addicted to porn (well, I found out that was him)
- wear their wife's underwear when she's out....Umm

Maybe that explains why he kept trying to fatten me up? He wouldn't be able to fit into my bra and panties now, not since I lost all that weight on the infidelity diet.


Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' likes strong but broken OW
OW - EA - 'Holy Chick'
COW - Suspected EA/PA 'The Ambassador'
COW - Susp EA 'The Baker'
COW - EA/PA 'Fat Bottomed Girl'
COW - Susp EA 'MiniMe'

Posts: 967 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My xWH did this, told stories about the bad behavior of others that I now realize are things he did.

I *vaguely* remember another story that Monster told me that was about one of his coworkers who got *in trouble* for coming on to one of the women who was working in the account that was being serviced (no pun intended) at the time. *shudder*.

Thus now I have the knowledge of how he pushed a woman into a closet & fucked her when he was posted to Yemen.

That's just lovely, huh?


I called him out on each one and he seemed to snap out of it when I did that

Yea, I always called Monster out on stuff, too, and I stupidly thought that he was *listening* to me. Yea right. As if. Turns out that all he was doing all that time was shining me on.

Maybe HE will be worth enough when he can carry a baby for 10 months in his belly and squeeze it out of his private parts. Then, maybe then, he will get the respect you already EARNED.

Well, since I had 3 scheduled C-sections and never went through a natural labor/delivery......I am not to be afforded the *respect* that comes from actually going through labor. More (yes, he HAS actually made cracks about me having it easy since I've *never felt a labor pain*.....because major abdominal surgery is such a walk in the f'n park -- not to mention the risk of death from embolisms!)

O80 -- *mystery people* freak me the fuck out anymore. Monster's stories about *others* fall into 2 camps -- he was either talking about himself, or he was giving me a *warning* about himself....A month before Dday, I told him that I wanted to look for some type of flexible-timeish job. HE didn't WANT me to work. So he told me about some guy that he knew whose wife *insisted* on getting a job and now she hated it and wanted to quit but <whoevertheguywas> wouldn't *let* her quit. Ha.Ha.Ha.

@softcentre --

'people he knows'

All I can say is -- Beware of these *mystery* people.


eta about the *job* thing. I HAD a job. WE owned a company. He did sales, I did administration -- but since I wasn't income-producing, my *work* didn't count. He was totally born 50 years too late.....

[This message edited by gonnabe2016 at 10:59 PM, July 28th (Monday)]


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7994 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 1:02 AM, July 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will restate that...

When he has carried a watermelon in his belly for ten months, laid awake flat on his back on a board in a cold OR, dry heaving from the anesthesia, while the doctor cuts open his belly, moves his organs out of the way, pulls and tugs while he is being lifted off the table from the suction. Finally they shove his organs back in, sew up his belly. In a few hours he will have to get out of bed, walk down the hall, bent from the pain and on return, get a baby to latch onto his already sore nipples. Then he gets respect after that ridiculous statement.

Yep, you really opted out of any childbirth pain, Gonnabe. Jeez, what a jerk.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1466 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 1:13 AM, July 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

walk down the hall, bent from the pain

Monster had his gallbladder taken out about 6 months after our Dday. 4 - 1/2" incisions in his abdomen.
Ouch, ouch, ouch. The guy was way-laid for days.
I smirked, thinking "ok, now the guy has a small bit of understanding of how *I* felt after being cut open." Yea....uhhhh, not really.


What a douchebag.

Good to hear a *dad* say that....because that was MY first thought also.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7994 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Allidoiswin
♀ New Member
Member # 44274
Default  Posted: 7:40 AM, July 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've heard a variation of this one. I work from home and WH has larger income. I told him in this day and age, our household chores should be shared equally. He told me he would do 50% of the housework when I brought in 50% of the income. I hired a housecleaner.


BS: 36
SAWH: who cares, right?
Married 14 years
Three boys
Separated ~ Ready for happiness!

Posts: 10 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Georgia
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:11 AM, July 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is he reaching for Gold in the douchebaginess award?

Gonna, I didn't realise STBX was born in the 1800s. You seem like a prize so he must have gotten at least 4 goats in your Dowry.

I've had major abdominal surgery and I've had two drug free vaginal births. I'll prefect this by saying I am a big advocate of vaginal birth.

My experience with the agony of abdominal surgery is one of the factors that prompted me to try to avoid it.

If all conditions are perfect then a vaginal birth is by far the best option. If conditions aren't perfect it isn't pain you have to worry about but your life and the life of your child. I know a 26 year old who has to self catheterise for life several times a day because she was pushed into a 'vaginal' birth when the conditions were far from perfect. The psychological damage is as bad as the physiological damage.

C-Sections aren't about fucking willpower - they are about physics and MEDICAL issues. Pelvis size, pelvis expansion, baby head size and shape, baby position etc etc etc. The reason for cesarians isn't ease (!!) it is to reduce the heavy mortality rate of childbirth.

What a skeevy motherfucker. I bet he isn't saying this idiot shit to his whores.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5547 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, July 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I told him in this day and age, our household chores should be shared equally. He told me he would do 50% of the housework when I brought in 50% of the income. I hired a housecleaner

When we relocated to this state and were disagreeing on which town to live in, he told me that HE made the money, so HE'd decide where we lived.
Man was I ever a knucklehead to not have realized what a chauvinistic bully he was......


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 7994 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, July 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When we relocated to this state and were disagreeing on which town to live in, he told me that HE made the money, so HE'd decide where we lived.
I'm sorry but could you repeat that. It was hard to make out coming from all the way back in the 50's.

I'm guessing his favorite show is Mad Men?


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3785 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
deena04
♀ Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, July 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh no he didn't...wow! That would have burned me to no end. There is no price tag on taking care of your family. Tell the asshat that.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want out!

Posts: 944 | Registered: Dec 2013
Topic Posts: 22
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