But you know what I think about it all now? As many of you know, he eventually picked up and left for OW. You also all know that people don't just change their habits. The OW can now deal with the hairy bush. NO way he's keeping up with it all these years later. Enjoy!!
BS (me) 40
OW - a friend of WH for 5 years
4 month EA which turned into a 5 month PA
Us together 20 years, married 17 and 6 kids
I always thought I was enough but obviously not!
Btw, have you considered counselling (maybe in-school counselling) and support groups for for the kids?
But I totally hear you on the only bothering to groom themselves for the AP. The Arse hardly ever showered...except when he was seeing an AP. I knew it was false R when he decided to start exercising every day, again. I don't think it's a sign of disrespect exactly, but more that they know we love them warts and all....and the AP doesn't.
[This message edited by Softcentre at 8:49 AM, July 28th, 2014 (Monday)]
Took a while, but I like the me I am, without him.
"Until God opens the next do
My wayward suddenly starting shaving his nether regions and armpits, too.
It was unusual and when I asked him what was up, he said it was to keep odor down.
Whether that was true or his OW just wanted him to shave, it upsets me that for years he did not worry about any odor, but he meets her and all of sudden he jumping through her hoops.
I saw emails in which she complained of her husband's chest being too hairy and disgusting.
Didn't she know her husband was hairy on the chest before agreeing to marry him.
I so lost respect for my husband for jumping through her hoops like a trained idiot.
What is it about affair partners and the hair removal thing.
It seems to be very common in affairs.
My apologies, I could have written that a bit better. My only point was that she hasnt taken care of certain items for me, but will for him. She used to without asking when we were dating, but immediately quit after we got married.
Again, I'm sorry for offending anyone reading my rant.
On the lazy part: How many women do you know use hair dryer, flat iron, etc. then leave them hanging from the plugs in the walls? How many get dressed and leave a pile of old clothes next to tub and new clothes that don't fit etc. on bedroom floor? Take a cup of whatever into the living room, then leave the glass on the floor? Plate on the coffee table? Piles and Piles and PILES OF SHIT EVERYWHERE?
Regarding the hairdryer, I am a very neat person but that is one thing I also do -- I leave the hairdryer and flat iron plugged in, dangling from counter, every day. The reason being, I guess I "don't have time" (ie just don't want to take the time) to put it away/take it out each and every day (I use every single day).
As for the remainder --- just a lazy, messy person who has no regard for their co-habitants. Nevermind its setting a HORRIBLE example for the children in the house.
But yes, them doing things for the AP is deeply hurtful. On our 14th anniversary last year, just after he'd left, The Arse went out for an expensive meal with Fat Bottomed Girl. He'd only ever taken me out for one expensive meal...the year before,when he felt guilty for cheating (pre-dday), oh, and it was Fat Bottomed Girl's suggestion, apparently
Sounds like he was already in an A or searching for one from your description. Have you pressed for more answers?
We are 4 years out today. I pressed for answers, but nothing new has surfaced in years. I 80% believe him, but I don't think I will ever know the truth. I think the complete shave was from all the porn he was obsessively watching (it effect his daily life) and his mindset was starting to change and be open to a possible A.
To the Menz, grooming is appreciated, but shaving everything off so that there is stubble within a day or so is not even close to be attractive or fun. Ingrown hairs caused by the complete shave make it even worse. I will admit to a chuckle knowing he was using my cordless horse clippers, and didn't have a clue that's what they were.
DD#1 July 28, 2010 Admitted to EA. A went underground.
DD#2 August 19,2010 Admitted PA
It angered me quite a bit and I asked the real reason why she stopped and she told me it was uncomfortable and all that. My take is that she didn't want the other man to see her with ingrown hairs and he may have even asked her to grow it out a bit. She always loved doing it before but in walks AP and she stops. Pisses me off to this day that she maintains that it wasn't for him. After DDay she's been shaved every since. The small details burn me up just like the big ones regarding the ugly mess she brought into our lives.
It makes me want to drive to their state and set her crotch on fire.
Or you know, laziness too... just please don't paint everyone who's messy with the same brush.