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User Topic: Trust your gut ladies!!!
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Saw an interesting article - and it says that women that suspect their husbands are cheating are right 85% of the time. 85% That means, if your gut is screaming, there's an 85% chance you're on to something. For the men, it's 50%. Maybe there is something to 'women's intuition'????

Here is the article:

http://www.pinow.com/articles/1061/infidelity-infographic


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
OkNotOk
♀ New Member
Member # 44229
Frustrated  Posted: 10:03 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hear you.

I wish I had listened to my gut.


Posts: 39 | Registered: Jul 2014
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 10:51 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Same here. I was not crazy, I was right!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9820 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can't believe I missed all of those. I'm SUCH an idiot sometimes..

Wish I had seen that sooner. It should be mandatory education in high schools..


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2304 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 11:38 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It took me 2 yrs to confirm what I felt...instinct doesn't fail you. I asked a friends husband who was a part time PI, now mind you, this was when I had just starting thinking hmmm somethings amiss, I said there are some things that kind of don't add up. He said hold on, if you feel it, your prob right. He said almost every woman that hired him was basically wanting confirmation, they already knew by gut feeling.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5130 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:41 AM, July 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Listening to your gut is so very important. I sure didn't and that was a HUGE mistake.

I think I'm a little offended on behalf of the guys that this survey is offering a questionably sampled statistic as representative of the general population, implying that their intuition is inferior based on their gender.

Just my $0.02

[This message edited by Jrazz at 1:43 AM, July 27th (Sunday)]


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17804 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
nolight
♀ Member
Member # 32785
Default  Posted: 4:44 AM, July 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's an add for a PI company whose intent is to prey on a spouses insecurities to encourage them to use their services. I hate this sort of predatory advertising

Edit typos

[This message edited by nolight at 4:45 AM, July 27th (Sunday)]


Posts: 516 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Hawaii
Charmedwren
♀ New Member
Member # 44149
Default  Posted: 6:52 AM, July 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very interesting. I was on high alert as he changed so drastically, but he still tried to convince me I was crazy.


Me - BW
Him - WH
M 19 years
DD #1 Jan 2013
DD #2 Apr 2013
In limbo for 15 months, three months reconciled and now separated

Posts: 22 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Australia
jb3199
♂ Member
Member # 27673
Default  Posted: 6:57 AM, July 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On D-day#1, my gut was screaming at me. It turned out that I was 100% correct.

On my last D-day, my gut said nothing. I was totally blindsided. 0% for that one.

That makes my gut 1 for 2.

What did you say the gut percentage was for males?


BH-47
WW-44
2 boys-17 & 20(special needs)
Married 21yrs.(together 27yrs.)

All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett
D-Day: 9/18/09 D-Day#2: 2/19/10 The Marriage Killer: 6/6/11
Heading for D


Posts: 2071 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: northeast
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 7:11 AM, July 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had my husband followed by a PI for two hours and I caught him with another woman. Two hours - out of 25 years of marriage.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

The conditions we face do not define us. They remind us of who we are and who we want to be.


Posts: 5251 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
heartbrokeninaz
♀ Member
Member # 40779
Default  Posted: 7:48 AM, July 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I knew 12 hours after it happened. Just had a sick feeling in my stomach. Logged into his facebook and dang if they weren't messaging each other right in front of my eyes. I would say I have an excellent intuition. Scary almost.


BW 40 (me)
WH 40
DDay 1 07/31/13 ONS with horseface
DDay 2 05/09/14 inappropriate texts to another woman (not returned)
I live a real life fairy tale. I married prince charming. He kissed a troll. He turned into a frog.

Posts: 207 | Registered: Sep 2013
Deanna
♀ Member
Member # 26854
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, July 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No wonder I was blindsided. He only changed one of his behaviors!
I should however listened to my gut that she was trouble.


DDay - 11/4/09
BS-49 DDay
fWS-46 DDay
EA/PA with childhood sweetheart/ kissed
R - 11/25/09
Life is not a dress rehearsal

Posts: 1460 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Northeast
wanttogoforward
♀ Member
Member # 29912
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, July 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know my gut was right at least twice!- the two times he was actually caught anyway- still think I was right on the one I couldn't prove, but hey, if I'd had the money then I sure would've hired a PI to prove it!

I guess I can see the idea that a man is not quite as good at instinctively feeling the cheating in his gut- why you might ask? Of all the men I know- married or in a relationship- they are not quite as observant as the ladies I know are..... if a woman changes things it may not seem weird to a man: think of the variety of things we ladies do: hair color, tan, nails, shopping for new things- none of these would be a red flag to most husbands UNLESS a new pattern emerges- and THAT is the big difference. The new and strange pattern that never existed before!

My H wouldn't bat an eyelash at 'trimming' important areas, new undies, shopping at Victoria's Secret, or new dresses- why? Because they are things I have always done and are not new and unusual patterns of behavior for me..... Now if I was suddenly doing things I had never done even once in my life I would think he would be at least curious about why and wonder.....

In my case I can safely say it pays to be observant for even the tiny changes- this was how I caught on... the change was minute and very subtle- and I actually first thought I was crazy for thinking this way.... he did not change his work hours drastically (maybe added about a half hour), didn't change grooming habits- he did that a year before (Mid life crisis!!!!), cell phone was not an issue- never used... so what was it? Tiny little things- logging out of an email once when I came into the area.... casually mentioning he was interested in some things a 'client' was selling.... not as interested in touching me or talking to me about private things..... extra happy to go to work... no big changes.... just tiny, tiny ones, but enough to make me pause..... and therein lies the issue- HOW MANY OF US IGNORED THOSE TINY NAGGING SIGNS AS OUR IMAGINATION?????? Don't ignore them!


Posts: 1184 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still lost
cosmicjoke
♀ Member
Member # 39159
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Time after time, with nearly every one of these lists, I see them miss the biggest & possibly most obvious one:
'INCREASED (or sudden) ALCOHOL &/OR DRUG USE'.

WHY do they always leave this one out... ????


Posts: 207 | Registered: May 2013
seethelight
♀ Member
Member # 43513
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I missed all of these.

But, I that will never happen again.


“If two people truly have feelings for one another then they don’t have an affair. They get a divorce and they sort out their feelings. You are accountable for the people you hold hostage in a marriage when your mind and heart refuse to fully commit

Posts: 1369 | Registered: May 2014
steppingup
♂ Member
Member # 42650
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm a man, but my "woman's" intuition has been 100% accurate.

I predicted my WW's last affair before it happened, she agreed when I called it well ahead of it happening, and she blew through my caution signs (at least three of them) with no concern for our relationship...now in ashes, she has been feeling like a dope for not heeding my warnings, but now she is in "affair love"..fogged out, not sure what she wants.

But perhaps that is because I am the personality type

INFP - The Idealist
Quiet, reflective, and idealistic. Interested in serving humanity. Well-developed value system, which they strive to live in accordance with. Extremely loyal. Adaptable and laid-back unless a strongly-held value is threatened. Usually talented writers. Mentally quick, and able to see possibilities. Interested in understanding and helping people.

[This message edited by steppingup at 1:11 PM, July 28th (Monday)]


Her (WW 40s) Me (BH, 40s) very young DS & DD

“Whatever follows after DD is much more crucial than the infidelity action itself” Quote by SI Member Melian40

"I'm a good man, not an option" - Steppingup


Posts: 498 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: CALI
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Time after time, with nearly every one of these lists, I see them miss the biggest & possibly most obvious one:
'INCREASED (or sudden) ALCOHOL &/OR DRUG USE'.

i don't think this is as common as the others (hiding phone, increased concern with appearance) in general. It's not as common here on SI. It may have been very true for you and your WS, but in general I think the others are far more common.


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
TrustedHer
♂ Member
Member # 23328
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

62% of investigators say that infidelity is confirmed in over 75% of cases.

What? That stat doesn't even make sense.

What do the other 38% say?

And by "Say", do they mean guess? Or keep records?

While I can actually believe some of the numbers they ended up with, I'm pretty sure their methodology sucks.

This is not peer-reviewed science, by any long shot.


Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

Posts: 5181 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
jb3199
♂ Member
Member # 27673
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

62% of investigators say that infidelity is confirmed in over 75% of cases.

What? That stat doesn't even make sense.

When I see this, I can't help but think of the line from "Anchorman":

"60% of the time....it works all the time."(Sex Panther Cologne)


BH-47
WW-44
2 boys-17 & 20(special needs)
Married 21yrs.(together 27yrs.)

All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett
D-Day: 9/18/09 D-Day#2: 2/19/10 The Marriage Killer: 6/6/11
Heading for D


Posts: 2071 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: northeast
Topic Posts: 19

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