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Newest Member: KevinTheAsshole (45445)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: My daughter has seen his porn
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG N_G!!
Your poor daughter!

Please take screenshots/photos of the stuff you can see on her Nook. If he figures out where she's able to see it, he'll scrub it clean.

Save your evidence. You're going to need it to get this POS away from your kids without supervision.

Good gawd.... ((( NG and kids )))


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6588 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Exhausted in OH
♀ Member
Member # 34340
Default  Posted: 8:55 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am a pediatrician. Most metro areas have a Child Advocacy Center, a multidisciplinary group set up to deal with sexual abuse issues. Most children's hospitals have one. Also, go to nationalcac.gov and search for one near you. Or please PM me and I will happily research someplace to get your kids help.

[This message edited by Exhausted in OH at 9:25 AM, July 28th (Monday)]


BS 42(now 45), WH now 46
Married 15 (now 18!), together 22, 3 great kids - 15, 13, 10
DD Sept 2011 - 4mo PA; on DD also admitted to ONS in 2007
R going well
And now I realize...- Me OEA - old college friend
No longer exhausted nor in OH

Posts: 441 | Registered: Dec 2011
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I apologize if I have you mixed up with another member, but didn't you say in the past that he was grooming your children? That he was masturbating while holding your dd when she was an infant...and that the physiological evaluation you had done on him showed he had a sickness for little girls?

If so, I'm sure you must realize this goes far beyond "just" finding his porn. He has been seen jacking it in front of your dd..She saw him..and knew what he was doing...and the porn he watched was found on HER nook? So he knew she would see it.

I'm sure you have had the same thoughts as I have. I'm very scared for your babies.

(((((((((((NG and kids)))))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7743 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are correct. Yes, he was masturbating while holding a baby - this daughter, in fact. Yes, he has been grooming the girls for sexual activity for many, many years. The psychological evaluation determined that he has severe, long-standing character deficits, but he refused to take the sexual component of the exam so we do not have documentation about his sexual preference. However, based on the massive porn I found in the house for years as well as the actual evidence I submitted to the evaluator, his particular interests include young pubescent girls. Which is exactly what eleven-years old is. This particular daughter is the very epitome of what he finds sexually desirable.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9856 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, (((((NG and DD))))) I have no words.

I wish I did.

I do have a shovel.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8888 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Left a message at the local CAC. Thank you for that suggestion. SO, I have messages in at my attorney, pediatrician, child/family counselor, church, and the CAC.

Here is my obligatory soapbox speech that you knew was coming: Porn is not victimless. It hurts people. It hurts our society. And if you have a sex addict as a spouse you need to divorce them ASAP and go into debt, if necessary, to get psychological testing to prove they are sick and a danger to your children. There is no safety when it comes to a sex addict and young children.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9856 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CPS and the police. That's all I have to recommend. I hope and pray the law will protect your girls.

I completely understand the cold rage. Remember, he's not worth the consequences of acting on those feelings.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1878 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Myname
♂ Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm actually sick to my stomach reading this. I haven't followed your story super closely but I know the basics of what's gone on.

I'm so sorry. I'm so angry for you. I wish I could do something to help you. I can't imagine what you are going through.

((((()))))


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 3070 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been saying here for a couple of years now that the family court system does NOT help you prevent child abuse. They only seem to care after the fact, after the abuse has happened and your child(ren) is damaged. Well, it's happened now, so I'm hoping that the system will work for me and help me help my kids.

However, based on the research I've done over the years and the advocacy groups which now exist, my gut tells me that I'm going to be the one who loses custody because I'm reporting this.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9856 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh NG, I'm horrified.

Cold murderous rage would be perfectly justifiable at this point. I'm so sorry for you and your babies.

What the fuck is wrong with people?


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17589 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((NG & kids)))))

Your poor, sweet DD. I am so sorry. I hope the system steps up to the plate and does what is right.

FTG!!!


Posts: 36043 | Registered: Mar 2011
betrayedfriend
♀ Member
Member # 19785
Default  Posted: 10:23 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Many prayers and hugs for you and dd NG. I've been terrified of this day since you started posting. I can't do much other than pray hard and send you strength, but know this, if I could take him out of this world, I would do it In a heartbeat.


I originally joined SI as a way to help my best friends find ways of coping with infidelity, but now infidelity has touched my family much closer to home.

Posts: 868 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest USA
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((NG))))

I hope one of those phone calls gets you the emergency help you need.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, screen shots of nook NOW. Instead of calling 911, can you walk into a police station and ask to speak to someone? Perhaps an officer who has experience with children?

You are doing your due diligence and then some ~ I hope to God that someone (police, CPS, CAC, pediatrician) SOMEONE will step the fuck up and join you in protecting your children.


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2284 | Registered: Oct 2012
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So far this morning:

I've talked to the counselor. He said based on what I've described, it could be a case for a child abuse report. But of course he can't go on just my word because that's hearsay.

I've talked with the director of the local CAC. She's referred me to the local group that works with abused children.

I've checked my son's Nook. I didn't see the same search terms as what I saw on my daughter's. But there are lots of YouTube videos. I can't see them because his Nook isn't hooked up to the internet. I need to look at my other child's Nook, and I also need to have a talk with those two. OMG


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9856 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
gypsybird87
♀ Member
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just saw this thread.

I'm so sorry, NG! I don't begin to know what to say. I'm just sick that your kids (and you!) are being subjected to this. I hope one of the local agencies you've contacted can do something to help.

((((NG and kids))))


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 941 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As I thought, my attorney is not going to help me because of my inability to pay. He did at least refer me to a legal clinic in the area.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9856 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
hellzapoppin
♀ Member
Member # 5655
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You might also contact the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children

http://www.missingkids.com/LegalResources/Exploitation

abundant links here for helping the victims as well as pursuing the criminals

The federal laws against child porn are unforgiving.

And violators can be prosecuted on both the state and federal levels.

I realize your priority is helping your daughter.


Him-WH
Me - BW
M 21 years
Divorced by stealth

Posts: 1318 | Registered: Oct 2004
Tearsoflove
♀ Member
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After you have gotten all of this behind you, can you reset those Nooks to factory settings and start your own account to link them to? Yes, they will lose any books he's bought for them but there are tons of free books available. You can also download a free kindle app and get even more free books that way.

I have to say that I'm pretty surprised by this. My daughters and I have shared Nook accounts for years and I didn't know that it would share search history. The only thing that shows up on ours are new purchases through the Barnes & Noble account (that I know of). Granted, I don't use my Nook for internet searches and Youtube so it may be that I've never seen any of that because I wasn't looking.


"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson


Posts: 4161 | Registered: Sep 2005
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My daughters and I have shared Nook accounts for years and I didn't know that it would share search history.

It may be a fluke, which is why I suggested getting screenshots of as much of it as possible.

Similar, but not quite the same situation- I have a mobile family plan. On occassion, one of my kids would get texts I know I sent to my husband (or vice versa). The accounts are all on one bill, but we have our own phones.
I'm wondering if it was a glitch...but one that N_G can use in her favor....


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6588 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Topic Posts: 124
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