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User Topic: Right at this exact moment
Gator8
♀ New Member
Member # 36499
Default  Posted: 2:13 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

3 Years sgo My Husband was In Some Dirty w*Ores Bed. Instead Of Going To Work. 3 Years And It Still Hurts Just As Much.

The Last Two Years I've Managed To Deal With This Moment But This Year I Can't. Earlier This Year I Caught Him On Dating Sites & Craigslist After We'd Hada Big Fight, so The Two Years He Built Trust Up Was Gone.

He Promised Me Earlier He Was Over Acting Like A Child & Was Going To Be The Husband & Father He Should Have Always Been.
Silence From Me. I'm A LOst Soul, He'sMy World, My Soul MatE, & HeSays I Am His But 'Shrugging Shoulders' I dont Get It

[This message edited by Gator8 at 2:15 AM, July 28th (Monday)]


Posts: 17 | Registered: Aug 2012
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 7:28 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...He'sMy World, My Soul MatE....

Gently, apparently he's not - I understand something of how lost you feel, but I know you can retrieve yourself, heal, and thrive.

(((Gator8)))


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10110 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

3 Years And It Still Hurts Just As Much.
Except earlier this year you caught him doing things that set that healing back. You need to recognize his actions reset the clock on your healing. He needs to acknowledge he did that by his own actions. The question now is what is he doing to fix his own issues?
Is he in IC? If he went to those websites after a fight then clearly his coping skills are not fixed. Most married people do not peruse dating sites after they have a fight with their SO. What is he doing to help you feel safer? What is he doing to make himself be a safer, more authentic person?


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3823 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 8:39 AM, July 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You had a second dday. It set it all back to square one when you found the new stuff.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
Gator8
♀ New Member
Member # 36499
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I Never thought About It Like That. It Did Set Me Back A Great Deal, I've Lost 30Lbs, I Eat But My Body Is So Stressed, I Don't Sleep, & I'm Obssessed With Checking Craigslist & Dating Sites.

He ASsures Me I Have Nothing To Worry About, He Was An Idiot Blah Blah, But I've Of Course Heard This Before.

I Couldn't Take This Again, He's HAd Women Stalking Him,Online & In Real Life, One Started Texting HimBegging Him To Leave Me, That She News In Her HeaRt They Were Meant To Be Together, She'd Leave Her Husband, They Could Be Together Forever, All Day, He Finally Told Her He'sFwd It To Me & I'll Take Care Of Her. She Stopped. But I'm Keeping Tabs On He.She Has Left Her Husband & Has Moved Much Closer To Where We Live. I Have No ProblemDoingWhat I Have To. I'm Just Sick Of It.


Posts: 17 | Registered: Aug 2012
Topic Posts: 5

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