Then DDay 2 happened. I planned on a divorce. I told both families. H is an only child so there were just his parents. EVERYONE stood beside me, even his parents. How lonely that must have been for H.
They have all been accepting and supportive of my choice to R. I'm very thankful for the families I have.
Do they support you, if not your choice?
they all support US! they've known him since he was 23 - 30 years almost! None of his family knows though.
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
The conditions we face do not define us. They remind us of who we are and who we want to be.
My mother was here visiting when I found out. She acts like she is fine and everything is normal, but he is not the amazing son in law he was once.
My father passed away years before this happened. He was very important to my hubby and I know mentioning my dad brings back the shame and remorse for my FWS.
My sister has her own problems so we just talk about superficial shit and pretend we are the girls we used to be. She is like my mom and pretending like everything is "normal"
My brother and husband always had a strained relationship and this obviously made it worse- but no worries because my brother lives 3000 miles away and we rarely talk.
So really- our "family" is fine with it because the only people that know are so far away it doesn't matter and his family have always been a pain in my ass.
But as you can see FOO issues are part of WH's problem too as his father also had A's and sought out prostitutes and movie houses (back in the day) so this has been kind of "taught" to WH in a way. He is dealing with that and other things in IC at this point. He is learning a lot about himself as am I.
Have they gotten past it? I can't imagine that they have. How could they when I haven't yet?? Still, if they really have not gotten past it, they have not shared any of those feeling with me....
I had thought nobody on WW side knew....but apparently they did for some time and did not know what to do and were living with guilt and trying to get her to stop.....apparently not hard enough. When something really bad happened between WW and OM they stopped speaking (as far as WW family know and they thought it was all over). For them it was as WW never spoke of it again to them.....but stared back with OM some months latr.
[This message edited by Hopefuldad468 at 4:40 AM, August 16th (Saturday)]
His family has basically disowned myself and our children since dday 1.
Since we separated within a month of dday 1 for over a year, I assume they thought we were done, so did not need to bother with me anymore.
They didnt even send a Christmas card that year.
I will no longer have anything to do with them, so wh has in a sense, lost his extended family due to his infidelity.
Has anyone else experienced this with in-laws?
Talk about complete rejection,,,,,,,,,,
We don't speak to WH parents and sister at all now. They dropped me like a stone after dday and didn't bother to contact our DS on his birthday (he turned 5, two days after dday). I guess they thought we were done and they didn't need to bother with me anymore. His mom ranted down the phone to me that I should be "over it" after a fortnight. We have had no contact with them for 5 months now.
We've basically lost everyone except my dad. My mom wants me to visit her without WH now. It's so tough, I can see where she's coming from but I just wish she could put my feeling above her own just this once.
We basically have no "extended family" now.