Then I start thinking that if someone else told me the story I have... your husband encourages a woman that he knows you get a long with to become better friends, work out partners, everything you need in a friend only to find out they were sexting, then turned into PA that ended with sex IN YOUR HOUSE and IN YOUR BED..... I would tell that woman to divorce the SOB.
But I didn't do that. I stayed (with new furniture and bed sheets) and am still staying. Why? He has been remorseful, wonderful, transparent, attentive, romantic, involved, finally I stayed because I love him, we have 2 young DS and finances being the last reason.
Some days I feel like I can move on past this and get back and better but then I see her at school functions, sporting events or on Facebook (we have mutual friends unfortunately) and I wonder what the F**K was he thinking. What am I doing? Why am I dealing with this?
Just holding my breath until this wave crashes and enjoy some of the serenity that follows until the next wave starts...
If you're going to try this, I would plan on getting to the registration about 15 minutes prior to the start of it, and speaking with the person responsible for your child's registration about this. You do not need to get into the whys of it - this is your child. You do have some control over this.
Good luck. Your story is gut wrenching. It's sad that your H did this. It's sadder that OW went along with it. You didn't know. She did. SICK.
And you don't have to explain why you stayed. You stayed because you chose to stay, period.
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”
I completely concur with painfulpast's post, down to you not having to explain why you stayed. I stayed too, in spite of FWH having an EA with a "friend"...I get it.
I also get the small town "run-ins" with xOW. But my girls are grown so I don't have to contend with the classroom sitch...and I would do everything you can to not have them in the same classroom. It's complicated enough...
ha - love this!
My WH surprised me tonight too. He knew I was having one of those trigger days and I came home to flowers and a gift (a scarf he thought matched a new shirt I have). He had a card that said "Some days are better than others. Remember that I love you and together we can get through anything." AWE, right? While this was so sweet, he also ended up saying the dreaded "I just don't want to talk about this anymore and wish you would be able to get over it." that was also followed with but I know it is my fault you feel this way so he will be here when ever I need him.
I so wish moving was option some days...
thanks everyone for their comments... this site really helps.
Are you guys in MC/IC?
We really haven't done MC/IC... we met with our church preacher a few times right after DDAY but now it really is just us... and this site for me.
I worry more that they'll resume their friendship and post-puberty someone will figure out why the parents aren't friends anymore. It was a big blow to my son. Also, APs oldest is a sneak and kind of conniving, which his parents don't see at all. So, I really don't want my son hanging out with him anyway. Sigh.
Glad they aren't in the same class for you this year.
As for the other stuff, I think we all wrestle with those feelings of being the world's biggest chump. But, it is not black and white, is it? Our MC said something once about people being "human" and imperfect, and it kind of offended me. . Like he was minimising. But, in a sense, it is true. We falter, and sometimes we all-out fail. Sometimes we really hurt each other. To me, what matters is what we do next.
[This message edited by bionicgal at 7:50 AM, July 30th (Wednesday)]