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User Topic: so I was just thinking
selkiescot
♀ Member
Member # 23777
Default  Posted: 6:24 AM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Back some 44 years ago I remember sitting in my WH's parents(he was still livng at home at 31) house. We had been dating for about 2 years of and on and I think at that point we were getting serious.

He was debating going on the road with a show band that contained his old girlfriend and I ofcourse was uncomfortable with the idea. Very uncomfortable with the idea. She was always around. Always showing up where she shouldn't have been and he never told her to go away.
The phone rang and it was another old girlfriend who also continued to hang around and actually some 30 years later became OW 123.

WHy didnt I see back then? Why was a so blind that I didn't see my life spreading out before me with a continuing trail of old girlfriends. They are both still hanging around. 44 years later and I am still dealing with the same 2 women pursuimg my WH.
So 44 years later I am still dealing with his ego and need for attention. Nothing changes but me.



The truth shall set you free or reveal the name of the OW!
ME 57
WH 64
DDAYs TOO MANY
daughter 27
You give me gifts! I don't want your gifts I want the truth. That's the greatest gift.

Posts: 1394 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: CT
BtraydWife
♀ Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 7:28 AM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We want to believe the excuses we are given about situations that make us uncomfortable. We really want to believe it's not as bad as it feels. It's self denial, it's very powerful, and cheaters take advantage of it. Most BS's have it at some level. It's the BS fog. We stifle the red flags and alarms going off inside of us. Sometimes we just aren't prepared to face the pain.

I don't know what your current situation is but I hope you are working to get to a safer place for yourself. This man isn't going to change. You being able to see that is what makes me feel hopeful for you.


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.


Posts: 1762 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:32 AM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((selkie))

Nothing changes until you change it. You have to make yourself a priority in your life.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7697 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I TOTALLY should have seen it all. But he was so so "anti-cheating". It "sickened him". No lie, when it all unfolded, I felt so stupid.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2256 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
AmSoDone
♀ Member
Member # 43871
Default  Posted: 7:42 AM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So 44 years later I am still dealing with his ego and need for attention. Nothing changes but me

Mines 32 years but I could have written this. I ignored the red flags, alarms, sirens, everything and still went back for more.

You are so right - nothing changes but me. Time to get off the merry-go-round it's making me sick.


BP(me) 50
WP (scumbag) 52
On-off for 32 years
1DD
1 DGD
Too many D Days to count. Same with OW.

Posts: 131 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 5

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