I am absolutely mentally exhausted. WH was on a rampage last night. He was pissed at me for sending him to jail. He's upset because he is having to deal with a lawyer and the courts and everything else. He left the house around 9:30 and didn't come back until 11:30. He was texting me, being mean, accusing me of having a boyfriend. It doesn't matter what I say, he says he is 99% sure that I have secrets that I'm not telling him.
He got home (I just found out from my SIL that he was at his brother's house drinking). We talked for about 2 hours. He told me that it's all my fault he went to jail. That I'm the one who started the fight that caused him to lose his temper. Then he brings up how he is spending all this money on bail fees and lawyer fees and he'll probably have to pay for anger management classes. Then he started in about how the previous day I had flipped out cause he wanted me to "watch" a $9000 motor on ebay for him and I took it as he wanted to buy it. He said that I went from being completely happy to being pissed off which in turn triggered me and I felt like shit. He said that he was hoping that we could talk about how I felt and I could explain to him what was going on instead of me immediately getting pissed. He said that he is afraid to tell me how he feels now because it'll either trigger me into a sad state or else if he's talking kinda sexual I'll wonder if he talked to the OW like that. So of course that makes me feel like shit and feel like I'm doing something wrong.
I am just absolutely emotionally exhausted by all this. I have no idea what to do. Part of me thinks he wont change because he proved that to me last night. Then the other part of me just wanted to get past this court crap so that we can concentrate on figuring out our relationship.