So I got her a library card and she was beyond excited. I'm making her take out one book at a time, to make sure she focuses. She's read two books (150+ pages) in the last 3 days! So we've been there twice in a very short time.
I also like the aspect of us getting out in the community and actually going into the place, checking out a book, etc.
So this last time, I saw a woman there, with a little kid DD8's age. No ring. We smiled at each other as I left.
Then it hit me. This is actually a good meeting place. The bookstore would be too, but stbxww had this pattern of going in, buying $100s worth of books and then not actually reading them. Wasteful and maybe a red flag if knew then what I know now (sure, not by itself, but put together with all her other brokenness, I'd call it an early flag as I'm trying to essentially reverse engineer this stuff).
Anyway, a nice woman at the library, kid in tow, looking at books, no ring, tells me a lot:
- Maybe D, or never M
- Interested in culture, at least enough to have a card.
- Non-entitled, as she's not going to the B and N to just buy a bunch of crap to fill her bookcases.
I grew up around books and I read a crapton (that's a technical term) when I was a kid. I left physical books for eBooks a long time ago, and I love the simplicity that gives my life (no need for a lot of book storage). But the sense of community, of belonging to your local city, got lost in that. Of course you don't stop and actually talk to other people at the bookstore much, but somehow I find the library an easier place to smile at someone.
Am I off the mark? Interested in what women think about this. Is it creepy to have a single dad approach you at the library?
Not ready for a relationship, but as I'm changing my behavior patterns, I wonder where I can meet quality people that is not at a dating site.
[This message edited by GotPlayed at 12:41 PM, July 30th, 2014 (Wednesday)]
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
The libraries I go to know are much smaller, and family oriented, and Iím in a relationship so meeting someone isnít on my radar, and much harder to imagine.
Iíd say if you have an opportunity to approach someone I see no harm. Just be careful not to get a reputation for asking out all the moms in the story time group
Just be careful not to get a reputation for asking out all the moms in the story time group
Oh man that sounds so sleazy!
No worries, I won't be that guy.
It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end
Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.
"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings
Non-entitled, as she's not going to the B and N to just buy a bunch of crap to fill her bookcases.
I get that buying books is a trigger for you, so I won't go off on you too much, but, dude, really?
It's actually a trigger about buying stuff she didn't need at all and not being able to throw away or give away anything. There was a three car garage full of stuff that she didn't use but won't get rid of. Our last move for an "even-bigger-place" I set as a goal that I'd be able to at least get my own car in the now-three car garage. After a lot of effort, and a lot of cajoling that made her angry, we reached that goal.
It lasted three blissful months of me able to put my car in the garage. And then? More stuff, car doesn't fit again anymore.
So the trigger is not about books, specifically. That's just a manifestation of the red flag of hoarding, so I mention it.
I have decided I'm actually ok with not having a lot of stuff. So I don't want that stuff anymore.
Married: 11 years, no kids
The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo
IMO, that's a great place to meet someone. You just have to whisper.
Also libraries have a lot of kid and family friendly activities like reading horus. That could be a great way to meet other single parents. I suspect that the numbers would be in your favor.
"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid
I've met great friends when my kids were involved in preschool story time.
Not creepy, at all.
Keep us posted.
I say go for it-- if I were approached by a nice guy around my age in a library, I would probably be more likely to say yes to going out. If he was there with his kids encouraging them to read... well, that would be a very good sign to me since I'm an English teacher!