God has breathed new life into me fanning my fading Embers into a brightly burning Fire.
BUT the OW along with your ex took so much from you. To confront or entertain these thoughts gives more if your power to her.
Everyone is different but for me I didn't care who she was because my ex made a vow to me. Truly she owed me nothing and who could blame her wanting a comfortable life.
I don't like her or think about her but unfortunately she is part of my story and I never asked her to join our family.
Be good to yourself and see if the feeling passes otherwise I would write it out to rid yourself of the poison.
Hang in there.
Sorry you are having these intrusive thoughts about her. She really isn't worth your attention, but are you feeling that there is something left unsaid? Do you feel you didn't get closure? Maybe you feel you need to speak your mind once and for all to get the closure you need? I agree with the others about speaking it here. To seek her out and give her any of your precious attention at all only gives away some of your power to her. She will be thinking that it still bothers you after all these years and it isn't going to make her feel bad....
Actually, I think that is how I feel about my WS also. I really want to tell him what a rotten horrible awful sociopath he is, but it won't bother him. He will just thrive on the attention.
The most painful thing you can do to a narcissist or someone that is very self-centered is ignore them. You know how they say negative attention is better than no attention? If it is about you wanting her to know that her actions hurt you, remember she didnt' care about that when she was whoring with your H. She isn't going to care now. She only cared about herself. If, after totally debasing herself by sleeping with someone else's man, she is left alone while everyone else has moved on, that has to really hurt. You know?