Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: VHCSLP (45432)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I just told him we were done
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, I know - it won't go anywhere - but I'm just pissed. He got home from work and took our dogs out (my knee is a mess right now). One of our dogs ran into the woods, and within 3 minutes I smelled skunk. Yup, he got sprayed. We got him earlier this year, and he was sprayed once within 2 weeks of getting here. We have 3 other dogs, the first two we got in 2008, and never ever have we had a skunk spray event. This guy, we've had two.

I love animals. We have 5 cats and 4 dogs, all rescues. I'm a vegetarian because I'm against the horrific treatment of animals slaughtered for food. I'm not against humane methods, but factory farming is a hell on earth few can comprehend. I mean it when I say I love animals.

So he's on the back porch, bitching up a storm. Every time anything goes wrong, he goes off as if his entire life sucks. I'm not exaggerating. It's July, and one of his bitches that I could hear was about the cold of winter in the northeast. He acts life his life is a nightmare. It's not, at all. Trust me.

So I told him when I hobbled outside to wash the dog that, as far as I was concerned, we were done. I meant it, and mean it. I'm so sick of HIS bitching, If we traded places he wouldn't be able to handle it. I've carried the financial load for us for over a decade. He was a 'stay at home' husband for most of it, because I made a lot of cash. He's only been back to work for a month, and already he's acting like his life is just so damned awful. Well, to that I say 'FUCK YOU!!!'. I've been the adult here for a long time while he vacuumed, did the dishes, took the dogs out, and collected porn. Oh, and he cheated during this as well.

So I discovered his A, and then the porn, and a lot more that I'm not disclosing - and 'laid the smack down', so to speak. He's done a lot better, but still, whenever anything doesn't go exactly as planned, I have to listen to a spoiled brat bitch about how bad his life is. All I ever think is:

Are you fucking kidding me???

So tonight, I said we were done. Hearing him complain about winter was it.

So yeah, I'm just venting here - but damn I've just had it with his bitching!!!


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Where ever you were just now screaming...I heard you all the way over here. If it's not too much trouble can you keep it down and maybe do something a little bit quieter like beat the shit out of your drums or something?

Sorry. Had to throw a bit of an icebreaker at you. Hopefully that made you smile just a bit. I did hear you PP. Your WH is a negative nelly and your rage is justified sister. Embrace it in the moment but don't let that rage, or him, rule you.

yop


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2221 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

like beat the shit out of your drums or something

Hopefully that made you smile just a bit

It made me smile a lot actually. Thank you. I desperately needed that.

[This message edited by painfulpast at 8:17 PM, July 30th (Wednesday)]


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
imagoodwitch
♀ Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The negativity in general is a marriage killer, even without an A factored in.

My WS is one of the most negative people I know and it gets on my last nerve

Hopefully he's gobsmacked now.


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5459 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The negativity in general is a marriage killer, even without an A factored in.

OMG yes!!! And now I hear it and think "I dealt with your cheating and I still have to listen to this bullshit????"

I'm so glad someone gets how bad the negativity is, and how much it affects everything! Thank you!!


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
Pentup
♀ Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Throwing an AMEN in here. If my H and I ever get divorced at this point, it will be due to the constant bitching and woe is me attitude. Can.not.take.it.any.more.

((Painful Past and stinky doggie)))

[This message edited by Pentup at 8:34 PM, July 30th (Wednesday)]


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
imagoodwitch
♀ Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's painful to listen sometimes and because I am such a nice person I just let it roll off my back and a little eye roll as well.

It will be one of the factors when I file for D.


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5459 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There should be an "I can relate" thread for 'Spouses of negative, life-sucking people"

What exactly did we see in them, even before the A??? Is there some need to punish ourselves?


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
imagoodwitch
♀ Member
Member # 23375
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The I Can Relate Energy Sucking Vampires thread sounds good.

Obviously my "picker" was broken when I met WS.

He was like this when I met him, his family was as well.

I don't know why I didn't run far and fast a long time ago.

Have you ever done it before? I would be aware of potential hoovering on his part, you know, trying to suck you back in.

[This message edited by imagoodwitch at 9:24 PM, July 30th (Wednesday)]


I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho supergoddess - Liz Phair

Don't keep dancing with the Devil and wonder why you are still in Hell.

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.


Posts: 5459 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Munchkinland
musiclovingmom
♀ Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, July 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My first husband was like this. His new wife now works while he stays home (and high). Best decision I ever made was leaving him. Even with my current H's A, my life is so much more positive now. Hugs to you!

Posts: 1114 | Registered: Jan 2013
meleanoro
♀ Member
Member # 6210
Default  Posted: 1:04 AM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you!!!

Honestly, the guy fucks around, leeches off you, and plays himself a violin?

(Are you sure you aren't married to my H?)

Funny what draws the line in the sand, isn't it? Yours has been coming for a long time. maybe t's the love for your pooches that tipped it over.

So, will you join the D/S group?


Me: Tired BS.
(I frequently edit for typos)

Posts: 287 | Registered: Jan 2005
meleanoro
♀ Member
Member # 6210
Default  Posted: 1:05 AM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ps-maybe the thread that's needed is, "married to a 10-year-old"


Me: Tired BS.
(I frequently edit for typos)

Posts: 287 | Registered: Jan 2005
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 1:21 AM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ws is a chronic bitcher too. The kids and I call him, chicken little because the sky is always falling. It's so irritating to hear a grown ass man whine over the stupidest shit.
I don't blame you a bit, it gets old quick.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5167 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Sleepingbeauty
♀ Member
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 5:41 AM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So are you really done??
Have your read any of the books on codependency?
They might help some. I get it when all they do is bitch. My stbxh bitched about everything. God it is nice not living on pins ad needles wondering what didn't I do. Is my outfit okay? He bitched about anything and everything.

Posts: 333 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 6:48 AM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh no, we aren't done. I knew that going into this. that's why I said it wouldn't go anywhere.

He apologized, and didn't bitch again all night, and said he was wrong for flipping out, blah blah blah.

He is better at apologizing now, post A. Before he would just justify it, twist it so somehow, it was on me, or that his bitching wasn't that bad, or whatever else he would say. Now he owns it when he's wrong. Doesn't sound like much, but it's a huge difference.

Sleepingbeauty, I remember those days, when nothing I did was right. I still get knots in my stomach thinking back to it. Didn't fold the laundry right? Didn't have the house key ready to go in the lock when I reached the door? Jeans had a wrinkle in them? Didn't buy the right food? You name it, he bitched. Why I stayed back then I don't know.

Sad thing is, the bitching got worse and worse, his self induced misery grew, and I gave up. I used to try and try to make sure everything was ok, but it was never enough. I finally just 'accepted' it was him and stopped trying to fix the world. That's when he cheated. One of the first things he told OW was that I didn't like him. Why - because I've stopped owning your misery? This still pisses me off.

Oh well. That was a long time ago. Things aren't nearly that bad anymore. If they get that bad again, or close to it, I'm walking.


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
Sleepingbeauty
♀ Member
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 6:54 AM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

pp- Glad to hear. I wasn't sure what you meant by not going anywhere. Even though for me my M is over I do feel good whe I see others make it. I still think I am mostly an optimistic person and for me the future has to better than the past.

My stbxh never tried to change and instead go worse. His AP is in for a rude awakening.


Posts: 333 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
cissie
♀ Member
Member # 17637
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't know if I am allowed in on this one as I am a WS, but my BH is the same. The key ready to put in the lock rang a whole peal of bells with me.

If I tell him any bad news, niece getting a divorce, brother having a stroke, he gets irritated and asks why am I putting more burdens on him. It was just a point of information, so if he should speak to any of the family he would not be out of the loop.

It has got worse over time, but I have thought that it was due to my infidelity that he was like that.
So glad to hear that it happens to be a trait with other husbands.


Posts: 550 | Registered: Jan 2008
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My x used to throw hissy fits because I'd buy the wrong brand of cheese.

He'd grab the cheese and the car keys and take it back to the store when I refused to do so.

It's fucking cheese. Get over it asshole!

Don't miss that one little bit.


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17589 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Charity411
♀ Member
Member # 41033
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PP, I can relate because my sister is like this. Life is a never ending tragedy and she never gets to go anywhere. Of course I've had to take care of her cat and house about 5 times this year while she's "not going anywhere". Recently she was bitching about how she was going to be in England going to parties for much of December and she would only have two days to make Christmas dinner. This is in July. At that point I got up and left.

And I can appreciate the skunk story. I knew someone who had a Newfoundland and St. Bernard mix that got skunked. He appealed to me for help because the thing that worked best was Massengill Douche and he wasn't going to the store to buy it. So I went. I bought all 8 boxes they had in stock. I got odd looks in the checkout line. I can't imagine what kind of looks he would have gotten.


Posts: 391 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
WhatsRight
♀ Member
Member # 35417
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am glad he stopped his bitching for the night, but a gentle caution...

It is very possible that he knows that you do not really mean "it's over" literally. Using that repeatedly could desynthesize him to it and it will not have the same effect after that.


"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy


Posts: 1889 | Registered: Apr 2012
Topic Posts: 22
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.