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User Topic: The show naked and afraid
Angel177
♀ Member
Member # 37274
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Omg what a horrible show! Wh was watching it well I was in the room (I wasn't watching it but I could hear some of it) I got up and told him I couldn't be in the room with a show that horrible and sickening on that crosses all kinds of boundaries and is pretty much just a show about two people cheating. He looked at me and said "it's not about cheating it's about survival!" Wtf ever! A married man and a single woman together on an island naked sleeping next to each other...sounds like cheating to me.

He was talking about how uncomfortable he was sleeping naked next to a naked woman that wasn't his wife and she was complaining because "he wouldn't stop talking about his wife and he wouldn't keep me warm with his body hear because he thought it was wrong because he is married it's so unfair I was cold wahhhhhh" worst show ever. What a bunch of crap. Wh ended up turning it off because I got so upset but he still thinks it's okay because his wife is aware he signed up for the show and what was involved. Whatever. It's still completely gross and inappropriate.

[This message edited by Angel177 at 1:09 PM, July 31st (Thursday)]


Me:BS
Him:WH
D-Day Sept. 14/12...R started Dec. 3/12
Together-10 years Married-5 years
Daughter-3
Son-13 months (died July 2, 2014)
Baby #3 due Feb. 2015
4 month EA and 4 month EA/PA in 2012 with my "friend"

Posts: 252 | Registered: Oct 2012
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((( Angel177 )))

Hubby and I watch this show regularly. We love it. We're both very outdoorsy (camping, kayaking, etc).
We've seen nearly every episode and have seen multiple times where one or the other person refuses to "cuddle" when it gets cold (conserve body heat) out of respect for their SO.

I too see it as a show about surviving with not much more than your skills, one item from the outside world, and whatever you can find in nature. I WOULD like to see them mix up the survivalists (man/man, woman/woman) and not just always do man/woman combos.

I wouldn't want my husband to sign up for a show like this. However those are MY boundaries. I know I wouldn't last ten minutes, so would never think to sign myself up.
Other men/women seem to be "ok" with leting their SO try the show...that's on them.

So sorry this was a trigger for you.

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 2:59 PM, July 31st (Thursday)]


Me - 42
SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Done

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity/typos.


Posts: 6691 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
idkam
♀ Member
Member # 18375
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love this show and never thought of it in a negative way....interesting..


People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime..
Divorced

Posts: 1810 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Texas
Angel177
♀ Member
Member # 37274
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay...so maybe I should take a deep breath and calm down. Maybe I over reacted on this one. It honestly instantly sent me into a blind rage...I was shaking I was so mad. Thanks for giving me another perspective.


Me:BS
Him:WH
D-Day Sept. 14/12...R started Dec. 3/12
Together-10 years Married-5 years
Daughter-3
Son-13 months (died July 2, 2014)
Baby #3 due Feb. 2015
4 month EA and 4 month EA/PA in 2012 with my "friend"

Posts: 252 | Registered: Oct 2012
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I watch this show with my kids. I like it. Would never let my SO do it and would never do it myself. I think clearly there are times when boundaries are crossed during the show, and clearly there are times when they can't stand each other and the whole "naked" element is just that, another element to their survival.

That doesn't mean it didn't shake you down to your shoes. We each have our own triggers. If you don't like it, you don't like it. Period. Doesn't matter what we or your WH thinks.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
steadfast1973
♀ Member
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This last season of Survivor, no infidelity, still triggered the fuck out of me. Sobbing, hyperventilating... The whole nine. Because the manipulator won. And I am tired of seeing that.


Me- 40- BS Him- 36- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 3 mo. EA d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute 11/5/13 in R
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah."- Leonard Cohen

Posts: 2286 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Midwest
cryingdaily
♀ Member
Member # 7276
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I do understand how this could trigger you. Especially the episode, and the part you saw. I watch the show regularly and I know exactly which episode you are referring to.

I, however, had the opposite reaction when I saw it. In a survival situation, where warmth can be critical, body heat can save your life.

He and his W knew he was going to be naked with a woman and cold. If sharing body warmth was going to be an issue, he should not have signed up for the show and put his survival partner in a position to practically beg for warmth.

It's a situation where you have to use whatever you have to survive.... or don't sign up for a show like that.


Me: BS 48
Him: Doesn't matter any more.
The Royal Court, formerly known as the Princess Posse:
DD31 - Belle
DD23 - Xena
GD10 - Jasmine
GD8 - Ariel
GD Born 9/4/12 - Tink
GS Born 6/23/2014 - Little Prince

Posts: 14400 | Registered: Jun 2005 | From: Massachusetts
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe I over reacted on this one.

You didn't overreact. Something was upsetting you, and you spoke up. That's how we're supposed to do things in a marriage - in contrast to coming up with some bullshit excuse to be pissed off with your spouse, and deciding that an affair is the solution.

The second he saw you were upset, and that it was a direct result of his actions, his job was to turn off the show, and do everything in his power to help you feel better. Instead, he underreacted.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2157 | Registered: Jan 2013
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry this show was a trigger for you, but I agree with your WH - it's a show about survival and there actually a lot of scenarios you can end up in where you have no clothes or minimal clothes out in the wilderness. I think it's real and not 100% for controversy.


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2295 | Registered: Feb 2010
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^What pass said. It's perfectly normal to trigger. Things that seem miniscule to another person can trigger the heck out of a BS. Don't feel bad at all.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1924 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
Charity411
♀ Member
Member # 41033
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love that show. And I was not a fan of Survivor or anything like that. I totally get how that would trigger you though. But of all the episodes I've seen no one seems to go anywhere near each other sexually. But then I guess it's pretty hard to be romantic when you're pulling leeches off your private parts.

Posts: 402 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to disagree about the naked part not being controversial. They are naked for ratings. They are naked to get more people to watch. There are many "survival" shows, this is their "hook" to get people to watch their show.

I just don't understand why anyone wants to do these survival shows, let alone naked. Challenge? Fuck, life is a challenge, I don't need any more fucking challenges.

You had every right to feel the way you feel, Angel. We can not help what triggers us, it just does. I feel our WS's need to do whatever it takes to ease these triggers for us. To make us feel safe and comfortable.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9952 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
outtanowhere
♀ Member
Member # 39001
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If its any consolation to you angel, I feel the same way. What happens when the cameras stop rolling. There is a whole production crew filming this *survival* of the elements and are out there *roughing* it too but, the cameras don't show that because it doesn't titillate our senses.

How can we say we are against cheating yet, so supportive of things that are created to stir emotions and test boundaries. I guess I'm showing my age but, it seems to me that if we would like to see the human race rise to the challenge of honoring commitments and staying within the realms of sexual boundaries, we would see these things for what they are and use our eyes to enjoy other forms of entertainment.

I'm not a prude but, damn, I'm so sick of seeing how sex sells everything and, it only does because we buy it. Supply meet demand.

And that's all I have to say about that!


BS - 58
SAWH - 61 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 38 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
He promised me Heaven then put me thru hell

Posts: 780 | Registered: Apr 2013
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 5:21 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm many years out and that part of the show irritated the fuck out of me as well. I ended up turning it off, because I was hoping the whiney woman would actually freeze to death.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6653 | Registered: Jan 2011
KatyaCA
♀ Member
Member # 41528
Default  Posted: 5:49 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oddly enough that young woman pissed me off with her refusal to understand what fidelity takes and to support his need to have good boundaries for his marriage. She sulked for the rest of the challenge and in the end did something that could have been disastrous because she wanted to be seen as all that and he refused.

I was happy to see a man who made his marriage a priority.

I could totally see her as the OW. She has a huge ego and she was not happy that a man didn't take her bait.

[This message edited by KatyaCA at 5:51 PM, July 31st (Thursday)]


Posts: 77 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Pacific Northwest
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^ I agree!!


Me - 42
SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Done

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity/typos.


Posts: 6691 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Angel177
♀ Member
Member # 37274
Default  Posted: 6:19 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree there are life and death situations where body hear is a nessasary survival need...this show isn't one. The producers are not going to let these people die.

It really was the woman the bugged me more then the guy...she is ow material for sure. I give him credit for keeping his boundaries....my husband did a lot more then lay next to a naked woman and it definitly ws not a survival nessecity in his case...

I won't be watching this show anytime soon but I've calmed down about it now. Just was a crazy bad trigger for me. I trigger on all kinds of things that never would have bothered me before...I just feel so alert about boundaries now but every marriage and relationship has different boundaries for different reasons...this show definitly crosses them in my marriage but obviously not in everyone's marriage.

Thanks for the replies :)


Me:BS
Him:WH
D-Day Sept. 14/12...R started Dec. 3/12
Together-10 years Married-5 years
Daughter-3
Son-13 months (died July 2, 2014)
Baby #3 due Feb. 2015
4 month EA and 4 month EA/PA in 2012 with my "friend"

Posts: 252 | Registered: Oct 2012
Zayda1
♀ Member
Member # 35387
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH and I watch it as well. Didn't bother me, but I did cheer the guy on when he stuck to his boundaries.

If your WS wants to watch a show about survival I would recommend Naked and Marooned. It's one man surviving alone, naked with no supplies.


Married 9 years, together for 11 years
2 children (7 years & 4 years)
Discovery of PA 04/15/12 (It only lasted a "couple of weeks" but it still shattered my world.)

Posts: 468 | Registered: Apr 2012
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:28 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hubby and I talked about it. HE knew what he was signing up for. I'm confused on why he would have an issue with cuddling for body heat. He didnt' want to betray his wife - ok, I agree. Then don't sign up for the show.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5531 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 19

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