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User Topic: Hate when my mind races
PrtyInPink
♀ Member
Member # 44148
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been thinking about the whole NC thing. WH had agreed to let the OW know that there will be NC but I sort of intervened very shortly after I asked him for the NC in a very mean, name-calling message to her letting her know how I felt about her. She couldn't handle the drama that I was creating so she said "could you please just let me exit both of your lives". I told WH what she said and he said "I'd LOVE that". Now my issue is, I'm wondering since I sort of forced the NC and didn't let him end it with her, should I be worried? I am just so afraid that he'll try to reach out to her again if he's feeling lonely or if he thinks him and I might not make it. I'm also thinking that since I'm the one who confronted him about his A and he obviously had no intentions of stopping it any time soon, is that room for disaster? I guess I look at my own EA. I felt extremely guilty in what I was doing so I ended it. I told my BH about it about 4 or 5 months after I ended it. I had given myself time to get over it, etc. WH didn't have time to end it himself since I found out about it.

Does anyone else have experience with something like this? After reading lots on SI, I see that many people break NC. Is NC broken mainly because the WS didn't end it on their terms?


Me: 30ish Him: 30ish (99% sure he has NPD)
Together 14 yrs, Married 9 yrs
His #1 EA D-day 10/20/09
His #2 PA/EA D-day 7/11/14
My PA D-day 10/21/09
My brain says leave, my heart says stay

Posts: 307 | Registered: Jul 2014
million tears
♀ Member
Member # 24416
Default  Posted: 6:13 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH didn't do the NC letter either. He just dumped her. I am the one who told her to leave him alone. I think if they are going to keep in contact with the OW they will do it no matter who sent the NC message. Him sending it is no guarantee or you sending it doesn't mean he will be in contact with her.


2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.

Married 27 years. Together 29.

3 children 24, 21, 14

OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.


Posts: 1664 | Registered: Jun 2009
BlueBlueEyes
♀ Member
Member # 43949
Default  Posted: 7:32 PM, July 31st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Agree with above. No formal nc either. I actually got her to call me after I had the police remove him from my home. I found his secret email account and responded to one of her slutty emails. Told her she'd better call me and she did. Husband saw her a few days later at work and she asked him if he loved me, he said yes, and she said he lied to her and good thing she wasn't attached to him. Wtf?!??! Sleeping with him but not attached. What a love story. And this woman is HUGE. She did answer my questions by text over the next week. She isn't all bad. Just willing to sleep with a married guy wanting to believe we were separating. Thst was news to me! Apparently their sex life sucked because he couldn't stay "operable" with the med he was taking. That also breaks my heart (sarcasm). I just worry now that he may go back to prove it was the meds. I think I manage to worry about everything. I'm tired too..,

[This message edited by BlueBlueEyes at 7:32 PM, July 31st (Thursday)]


BW - 49
WH - 50
Married 30 years
Beautiful Son, Daughter and 2 Grandsons.

OW - multiple, just found out about ALL of them, Husband coming out of years of fog due to multiple childhood and military events.

Hopeful but cautious


Posts: 194 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Texas
PrtyInPink
♀ Member
Member # 44148
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes I'm a big worrier too. So nice how we have to be put through this, isn't it?


Me: 30ish Him: 30ish (99% sure he has NPD)
Together 14 yrs, Married 9 yrs
His #1 EA D-day 10/20/09
His #2 PA/EA D-day 7/11/14
My PA D-day 10/21/09
My brain says leave, my heart says stay

Posts: 307 | Registered: Jul 2014
Topic Posts: 4

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