You seem to have a lot more respect for your friend than for your WH. Are you sure that you really want to stay with a man for whom you have such negative feelings?
Calley60 just posted this to you. It seems like your marriage is in some real trouble here and that you are more concerned about your friend than fixing things with your husband. That is fine, but the more you write the more it sounds like this is a bit much of a "special friendship". Im sure you'll continue to get more posts basjing your husband, but that is not doing anything to help you solve your problems with your husband.
I don't feel that way but I can see how it looks that way. I don't want to be that way. I never even see this guy except a couple times a year at mutual friends parties or something. We do not hang out or anything like that and I do not want him at all in any way. I think it's mutual. He's got his issues that's for sure, he's a great friend but he's a lousy boyfriend and partner, I've been good friends with his last ltr gf and she confided in me of what he did. He's no angel that's for sure.
I don't want to feel this way. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO with these feelings and anger. I had told pWH that if he went to a strip club and got lap dances and all, that it would be a deal breaker. Then he did it anyway. Maybe it really is a deal breaker in my heart. I consider it a PA. I realize it would be a lot worse had he had sex or a blow job or something. I don't know if I will ever get over it. Especially without him doing much of anything to own it and fix it. It's not that I want it to be a deal breaker...but...to me it's not really any different than being around a hooker.
It's like pWH pushes me right up to the edge. I feel like I always have to be the stable one and the smart one, while he makes "mistakes" (as he calls them) like going to strip clubs, getting drunk and spending the night at another woman's apt, etc.
I do love him and want to be with him and Im attracted to him and I want nobody else and I don't want to be a bitch! Actually, other than my interrogation burst a couple of weeks ago, I tend to keep all this inside and only talk about it on here. I'm sure I seem like a real bitch most of the time. I don't mean to use everyone here to unload my garabage, but I probably do.
I have no idea what action to take, or what words to say to make anything better in my M. I walk around a hostage to my distrust and anger and sadness, with bursts of happiness. I think I act fine around pWH, but who knows, maybe I'm not as good at hiding my feelings as I think. I'm compartmentalizing I guess....