Something is fishy. She's probably going to make it a stressful yr for u and ur career could be at jeopardy
It's ONE year. Change grade levels.
Don't do this to urself
Sounds to me like she is tryint to set you up for failure.
I am shocked at the way that your administration kind of blew you off at first, saying there was nothing that they could do. I am glad that they redeemed themselves somewhat.
I completely agree with the poster that said you don't want her showing up at your door, grinning at you, and picking up her daughter.
I hope administration hammers her to the point that she backs out. They can't possibly need her tuition that bad that they would allow themselves to be unwilling participants in her little messed up game.
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
ETA: Please see a lawyer! And don't look at FakeBook. The OW is just using it to lie and pretend her life is great. If I were you, I would contact her new hubby to let him know that you will be the teacher for his step child and what your connection to the OW is. It's fishy that she's pulling a stunt like this if she's happily married.
[This message edited by What2Do76 at 7:16 AM, August 3rd (Sunday)]
I have had my kids in a small private Catholic school for 16 years now... I know what it's like. The parents are very involved and get pretty chummy with each other. I, too, find it very odd and suspect that she would choose to enroll her child in your class.
Besides dealing with OW on any behavior issues, you also run the risk of OW bad-mouthing you and trying to "stir the pot" with other parents.
I think this is an unbelievable amount of added stress -- needing to deal with this every day and constantly watching your back. I have very good friends who are teachers at private schools and I know how it can be. I think you need to protect yourself, your sanity, and your reputation. No matter how well you treat the OC and the other students, you are opening yourself up for all sorts of trouble.
I know it's not my decision to make, and I think you are wonderfully generous-hearted to think you could treat this child normally, but I would strongly urge you to switch grades for one year.
If the OW is looking to get under your skin, you can show her that you can avoid her attempts. Maybe she will give up and go away. I cannot fathom why she is choosing to do this. It sounds pretty evil to me. And if you're dealing with a wacko, you just don't know what she is capable of.
I'm nervous on your behalf. I hope you can come up with the right solution for yourself.
My principal is meeting with the OW on Monday. I'm feeling strong right now, thanks to all of you. I'm going to call a friend and get a pedicure before the feeling passes!
Please follow the forum guidelines. There is no OW namecalling in the Reconciliation Forum.
Even without that, I would not want that daily reminder. I would change grades and consider it an opportunity for something new.
I REALLY hope they make everything go in your favor. I would agree with the poster who said that small catholic schools tend to have very involved parents who become chummy. The parents are very involved with their students, the school, fundraisers, etc. That's how my daughter's school is. Everyone knows everything. You don't want OW hanging around and you especially don't want to have OW's child in your class.
First, there is NO way I would teach the OW's child. That is setting yourself up for an enormously stressful year. Why would you want to tackle that? I totally understand being a bigger person, not punishing the child for the sins of the parent, blah blah blah..
But this is your job. You will spend more time with the OW child than your own kids this year. Do you really want the reminder of what your WS did every single day?
I would switch grades if the admin allows this OW to stay enrolled. It's NOT worth it...
From my own experience with the private school hierarchy, I'd suggest giving the principal a view of the potential risk to the school, especially if this parent decides to stir the pot with other parents. I'm guessing the principal may not be thinking of the "big picture" of the ramifications here. He/she may just believe this is a "personal" issue for you. I don't believe that to be true. If the principal understands the potential issues, perhaps he/she will be more open to the idea of denying this student's application for the school.
I think that would be the ideal situation.
Please let us know how it goes. You shouldn't have to deal with this crap!!!!!
The aide can just say that you have a full plate and if problems and concerns are needed to be address to communicate to her and if she wants to write it to send her an email and she can be the messenger between you and her. Your aide should be your best friend through this year to help you and you're just going to need more help with this student.
Yes I know that it's not the child's fault and being the professional you are. You'll be more than willing to educate this child for the year and get that obstacle out of the way.
I'm a special education teacher. One of my students last year was a lovely girl with a very demanding mother who was very much a bully. My colleagues told me she's been this way with every other teacher that has had her child.
Basically, everything it did wasn't right to her. The work I gave her kid was way too challenging, and then it was way too easy. I was sending home too much stuff, then it wasn't sending enough. She complained to anyone who would listen that her daughter was regressing in my class, her performance was worse since I'd been there (lies. We tested her several times with several tests, she was actually improving).
She would tell the principals that her daughter came home crying over how mean I was, how mean other students were, and how I let it happen. She said I would punish her daughter for no reason. Again, all lies. When interviewed by the guidance councellors, principals, other teachers, etc, the student never once said anything that her mother was claiming, she actually love my class.
She wrote aggressive emails and notes to me demanding explanations for everything, cutting down my teaching ability, basically being a bully. She sent these emails and notes to other parents as we'll.
I know this is long, bear with me, I totally have a point, I promise.
My bosses and several other parents had witnessed this behavior with other teachers, and assured me she did this before, and I was not the problem. So, here was how I got her to finally lay off:
I killed her with kindness. I was always nice, smiling pleasantly and speaking calmly when I saw her in person. In notes and emails ( of which I made copies and cc'd to my bosses, as teachers we must always cover our asses) I was sickeningly sweet and saccharine. I was always chirpy and cheerful with her, when she would have a brutally worded complaint, my response was "thanks for the info! I'm glad you told me. I appreciate it when parents communicate their concerns, it helps me improve my class and my ability to teach your child!"
Of course, once I was with my TAs or with friends, I vented like crazy, I just never let her see me mad.
This sounds like absolute bullshit. But it works. It pissed her off to no end that she could not get a rise or negative response from me!
I think OW may be trying to do the same thing: bully you and get a rise out of you. Show her it won't work, and she'll get bored and stop. Also, let your boss know just in case she tries to tell them something. Mine understood and it never affected my job, they knew she was lying and just trying to start stuff.
A positive: it will make her SO mad when her silly little scheme won't work :)
I cannot believe this shit is actually happening.
I've been married 22 years. I've been teaching 22 years. She tried to take my husband away. I'll be d------ if I'm going to let her take my job from me too!
So if she thought she could break me, she can't. She wasn't successful then, and she won't be successful now. I am stronger, smarter, and more lovely than she inside and out.
I have terrific friends, a loving family, and a husband who has realized what fool he was and is working to be the husband I want and deserve.
I don't know if I kill her with kindness, but perhaps indifference is enough.
Firstly I am glad your Principal has supported your boundaries and seems prepared to act on them. Did you get this in writing as well? If you havent' already forward her an email just detailing the agreement to confirm your understanding. Her reply can be supporting documentation just in case for the future.
secondly I am very pleased to see your last post!
You are right ... indifference is the key - if she is doing this to have an impact / attention then starve her of it.
Professionally continue to protect yourself and document, document, document.
Her choice to send her daughter to your school is crazy - unless for some reason it is the only option she had available (ie daughter being terribly bullied and your school / class is only other available within reasonable driving distance).
but I know you know that.