I was reflecting on my week, I'm just past my 6 months from my original DDay. It has been a devastating 6 months and it all seems to be moving in fast forward.
However, my mindset is finally good, I've come to accept that WH is not who I thought he was, I never in a million years thought he would be deceitful. I have accepted he might have disconnected a long time ago, wasn't mature enough to find that lasting commitment with me, and a coward to cheat and lie instead of telling me his feelings. This is all on him.
I admit I have things to learn to be a better partner, all around communication and not bring afraid of conflict, and to not be afraid to ask for help to fix what might be wrong. All things I am learning. But I'm proud of who I am, I'm proud to be my kids mother, I am confident I will land on my feet after our D is final.
I finally had my first day without tears this week. I actually had two days now. It feels great to finally have hope for the future. Still scared about how ends will meet, I'm still hunting for a full time job, not sure how to balance kids activities and work. And not sure how to deal with WH as a co parent the rest of our days. But I'm ready to face the challenges.
I have my families support, have reconnected with some wonderful caring friends, and have done a few outings on my own with golf meetup groups. Oh my game is terrible, I think I have to say I'm a beginner again, but I'm doing it.
I'm still reading and learning out here. Thank you SI group for all the Online support. Keep moving forward. Little at a time.