An affair is what happens when a broken person chooses the wrong way to "feel better". Some people choose drugs, some people are workaholics, some people find a healthy hobby.
Some people are even smart enough to get proactive counseling and figure it out BEFORE they make destructive decisions.
I loved, love and am still in love with my husband. But we've both hurt each other. A lot.
Maybe he didn't use a relationship to feel better, but there are other ways to break someone's trust. And to cause immeasurable pain.
This feels so right to me. My BH will likely never feel it, but I hope he will again someday trust that another person truly loves him. I hope he will feel loved in a healthy way.
Also, I agree with the sentiment of my feelings at the time not mattering. There was a great article my BH sent me about intent. I'll have to look for it. Ultimately the author states that intent is irrelevant because of the impact is what matters. Even if I felt love for my BH, I did not act loving towards him. If that makes sense.