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User Topic: cheat while in love
♂ Moderator
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Posting as a member.

But as far as for a BS, I personally don't feel it matters to me if my FWH loved me during the affair or not

That's the beauty of the Wayward Forum. It's not for BS's to work out their feelings. It's for Waywards to work out their feelings

[This message edited by SI Staff at 8:35 PM, August 3rd (Sunday)]

FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live

Posts: 37630 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
♀ Member
Member # 41583
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


An affair is what happens when a broken person chooses the wrong way to "feel better". Some people choose drugs, some people are workaholics, some people find a healthy hobby.
Some people are even smart enough to get proactive counseling and figure it out BEFORE they make destructive decisions.

I loved, love and am still in love with my husband. But we've both hurt each other. A lot.
Maybe he didn't use a relationship to feel better, but there are other ways to break someone's trust. And to cause immeasurable pain.

This feels so right to me. My BH will likely never feel it, but I hope he will again someday trust that another person truly loves him. I hope he will feel loved in a healthy way.

Also, I agree with the sentiment of my feelings at the time not mattering. There was a great article my BH sent me about intent. I'll have to look for it. Ultimately the author states that intent is irrelevant because of the impact is what matters. Even if I felt love for my BH, I did not act loving towards him. If that makes sense.

[This message edited by Wayflost at 8:53 PM, August 3rd (Sunday)]

Me: WW
Him: BH (totalheartbreak)
Both: 30s

Posts: 496 | Registered: Dec 2013
♀ Member
Member # 39000
Default  Posted: 7:23 AM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wifehad5, thank you for succinctly articulating the point I failed to convey.

fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
"Between stimulus and response there’s a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and our freedom." V. Frankl

Posts: 1252 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Redneck land
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