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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: When Did You Remove your Ring?
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took mine off after we told the kids and I knew there was no going back.

I originally thought I'd wear them until D was final, but it realized it was just a formality at that point.

I cried and cried the day I took them off. It was hard.

Now it seems strange to see them sitting in my jewelry box. I will probably keep them and do something with the stones for my kids when they are older.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I confronted XPOS at last OW's house and told him never to return to the marital home I went home and took them off...


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1137 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
WhereIsHome
♂ Member
Member # 43662
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dday#2 took it off. Dday1 such a moron didn't believe affair happened. Anyway I laugh in between 1 and 2 I lost my ring playing tennis looked for it for an hour finally found but what a waste of an hour.


I was betrayed - 39
Wayward Wife - 38
D-Day1 May 2011 bought her lies didn't get confirm on 1 till dday2.
D-Day2 Good Friday 2014...Good Friday have to laugh a little on that one.
Daughter #1 Stillborn
Daughter #2 Doing great

Posts: 89 | Registered: Jun 2014
FieldsOfLavender
♀ Member
Member # 39154
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wore it 15 months past the day I found out, right up until he emailed me to tell me that he was starting a new life with homewrecker whore and that our child would have a half-sibling.

Posts: 198 | Registered: May 2013 | From: East Coast, USA
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Took mine off when I knew it was over. This was the conversation:

Her: "when is it ok to take the rings off?"

Me: "why, does it bother him?"

Her: "well, he asked"

Game Over. I took mine off right there, in front of her. I demanded hers. I sold them and used the money to pay off community debt.

The coldness of 'well he asked' still haunts me. It was about ten days after d day. Three or four days after I heard "I have no intention of breaking it off with him."


Oh, look. A palm tree.


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 759 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
DMS88
♀ Member
Member # 13461
Wink  Posted: 9:42 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I took it off a Dday, but while in reconciliation I put it back on. In 2009 I got in a fight with a table saw that broke my ring and cut open my hand. I still have the broken and bloodied ring. I never washed the blood off or fixed it. I think the ring is more symbolic in its current condition.


Me: BS
Him: WS
Discovered the affair: 4 Jan '07. It started in March '06.
Second D-Day 9 October 2007 (same woman). Moved and affair ended.
Currently separated because of his alcohol addiction and boundary issues.

Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2007
KeepOnMovin
♂ Member
Member # 38245
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took mine off Dday. She continued to wear her wedding band. I put mine back on a few days later because i wasn't ready to call it quits and i wasn't ready to have to explain it to my kids.

I had decided i would wear it until we were legally divorced. but after telling the kids, i just said to hell with it. it meant nothing to me so i took it off and haven't looked back.


Me: BH
Her: who cares?
Married: 22 years
2 sons at home
1 son in college
Divorced on 9/4/14!
Often it's the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self.

Posts: 312 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 2:16 AM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Her: "well, he asked"

I've seen you post this several times and the motherfucking ice coldness never stops giving me the shivers. I'm sorry but what a piece of c*** of a woman (asterisks aren't mine).

[This message edited by SBB at 2:17 AM, August 2nd (Saturday)]


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5578 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
GreatRoleModel
♀ Member
Member # 36809
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The day we told the kids...I wanted to on Dday but I knew my kids would notice.


BS (me)
XWS (him) NPD
DIVORCED!!!
It takes a village to deal with the village idiot!

Posts: 341 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: NC
TheGivingTree
♀ New Member
Member # 43672
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Took mine off on DDay, then put them back on as we discussed R. Took them off again in November, 2013, as he was not following through with conditions for R. Have not, and will not put those rings back on again, as they are now a symbol of him breaking his vows. He continues to wear his daily, which infuriates me, and continues to remind me of how little they now mean. If we really do fully R, then new rings would be required.


Me: FBW, 48. Him: SAFWH, 57 (SFGary)
3 fantastic kids: DS 16, DS 15, DD 10
DDay 1: 1/8/13, multiple DDays with TT for an entire year.

Working hard at R.
If all you wanted was love, why would you use me up, cut me down, build a boat and sail aw


Posts: 45 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: San Francisco
betraid
♀ New Member
Member # 43915
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took mine off on DDay #1 - did it in front of him and told him they were a symbol of the vows he made to me of his love and fidelity all the days of his life - I couldn't wear them because they were another sign of his betrayal.

Now I look at them every day, cry, and miss the man that gave them to me...the one I will always love... but he disappeared on DDay #2... wish so very much that I had had a chance to say goodbye and tell him how very much I loved him for all the 28 years we were together.


Me:BS Him: WS-LTA 7+ yrs
Married: 19 years; together 28
DDay #1: 6/9/14 found evidence of 1nt PA
3 wks of lies & 3 sessions of MC
DDay #2 6/26/14 I found proof of 7 years of PA/ EA & it continued past DDay #1
Separated & living thru new normal

Posts: 10 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: USA
Sleepingbeauty
♀ Member
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had planned on wearing until our D was final because I was still M. I however took it off the day my father was buried and will never wear it again.

The last act I watched between my father was him playing with her ring and smiling at her. He could no longer talk. It reminded me what the ring really symbolizes. The love and respect between two people. I realized I no longer had that and all I had was a pretty diamond cold and heartless like my stbxh. That made it easy to take off. I just wish the mark on my finger would go away. Anyone know how long that may take?


Posts: 278 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
jrzeegirl
♀ New Member
Member # 44261
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The night the truth FINALLY came out about the affair.


Married since 1994
DDay 9/18/10
DD 15
“You two deserve each other, and I deserve better” ~Me

Posts: 38 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Jersey
wontdefineme
♀ Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The moment I called the number on the bill and a woman answered it. I had been trying to get a hold of the bill for 2 months. Once I had the proof that he had been lying to me for over a year, even though I knew, and he knew that I was on to him.

Posts: 2172 | Registered: Mar 2011
idontknowwhy5
♂ Member
Member # 42648
Default  Posted: 5:43 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My friends had commented that it's really weird that I'm wearing my wedding band still. I feel that it represents vows I took, including fidelity, and I intend to wear it as a representation of those vows for as long as I am married.


DDays- too many

Status - In D.


Posts: 90 | Registered: Mar 2014
12yearsloyal
♀ Member
Member # 43064
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't wear my ring anymore due to the betrayal. I am either in R, S or D. Not sure yet but one thing for sure is I will never wear "that" ring again. If we survive this he can get me a new one. I am repulsed if I even look at my ring and it is a very pretty ring.


Him: WS, Selfish, mental, mid-life crisis LTA EA PA
Me: BS American, Blonde, thin, attractive (and none of that mattered)
OW: Caribbean whore (RuPaul is better looking)
What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?

Posts: 161 | Registered: Apr 2014
Myname
♂ Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 8:27 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took mine off about a month after D-day when I realized she wasn't as into R as I was. I would have put it back on had she actually made a real effort at R but she never did.

I have no idea where that ring is at this point nor do I care.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 3042 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It was off and on during (false) R, then I took it off when we S and he moved out.

I sold the gold and kept the stones...assuming one day they would be a nice little nest egg or travel fund. I had some large stones in my "service award" pieces. (Every 5 years we bought a nice piece of jewelry for me. So I had 3 very nice pieces plus my wedding set).

I haven't sold them yet, and every now and then forget about them.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4153 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
LookingforLove
♀ Member
Member # 12002
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I removed mine when I filed. I know the marriage was done.


Me: BS
Him: WS LTA 6+ yrs
OW: Skank Company HO
23 years of Marriage down the drain
Filed 4/5/11
Divorced 4/17/12

Posts: 1153 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: Washington State
BaseballMom31
Member
Member # 43637
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been struggling with this myself. I haven't been able to take mine off yet. We also have our wedding date tattooed on our ring finger so even when I take it off, I will have that.

It will be 3 months on the 14th that my husband walked away from our family. Maybe I will feel strong enough soon to take them off....


The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are stronger at the broken places. -Ernest Hemingway

Posts: 245 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Missouri
Topic Posts: 40
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