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Newest Member: conflictedcolleg (44943)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Help
BigMo3516
♂ Member
Member # 30487
Default  Posted: 5:57 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok so STBXW has been spinning quite the web of lies to make her self look like a victim in this. I have stayed out of it and not taken the bait. My question is this, her biggest one of all is that I was physical with her and an alcoholic. I never touched her. Also not diagnosed as an alcoholic by the psychiatrist or psychologist I was seen by after separation. People I have talked to say that with out police reports, filed charges, arrest records, photos, ER visits, dr reports ect it's all he said she said. The sociopath actually thinks that cause she said it and she's a woman that the judge is going to side with her with out providing legit ament evidence. I'm exhausted having to wait for legal to straiten this out. I could use some encouragement.

[This message edited by BigMo3516 at 5:58 PM, August 1st (Friday)]


"Others often have an awareness of, or question, what we think we have been able to conceal or cover."

Posts: 258 | Registered: Dec 2010
devistatedmom
♀ Member
Member # 24961
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As you said, she does not have any proof. If it will help you feel stronger, ask your Psychologist or psychiatrist for letters stating they have seen no signs of you being an alcoholic. Is that possible?

Next time you hear from someone that she said that, correct them. Not spitting it out in anger, just stating that no, I am not an alcoholic wife beater. She was sleeping with another man, and we broke up because I was not ok having 3 in my marriage. Just smile, and change the subject. You don't have to run her into the ground, just state the truth.

I don't see it as leaving the high road to set the record straight when someone is telling lies about your character. Others may disagree with me, but that's the way I see it.


BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.


Posts: 5485 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Canada
BigMo3516
♂ Member
Member # 30487
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My family and friends she said that to I did correct, however none of them believed her anyway. Her people I don't see and I'm not concerned with their opinion of me.


"Others often have an awareness of, or question, what we think we have been able to conceal or cover."

Posts: 258 | Registered: Dec 2010
Holly-Isis
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How about "Nope, I'm not an alcoholic. If the bed was spinning it's because she treated it like a revolving door. "

"I would never lay a hand on her. I have no idea how contagious she is."


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11186 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
kg201
♂ Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BigMo, my X has taken the exact same approach, accusing me of the same things. It all ramped up after I told her In a mediation session back in the winter that I would not support the kids' relationship with her AP if she passed away (she has terminal cancer). She promptly filed a restraining order and enjoyed seeing me struggle with dealing with the court. Eventually the court found that there was no evidence that she was in danger from me. She appealed the decision to harass me. I don't really care what she tells others, but I still have a strong reaction when she acts the victim on occasion when we have to "communicate" about the kids. It's hard.

The only response you have to her is no response. Try not to be in any situation with her where there is need for her to say see things to you. Absolutely avoid all face to face with her, and if you get trapped in her presence make sure to back off (I sat down away from her in the early going) so that you can't be accused of assaulting her (closeness in an aggressive way can be an assault). But avoiding face to face is your best bet.


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 697 | Registered: Aug 2013
BigMo3516
♂ Member
Member # 30487
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We haven't seen each other or spoken since we seperated.


"Others often have an awareness of, or question, what we think we have been able to conceal or cover."

Posts: 258 | Registered: Dec 2010
BigMo3516
♂ Member
Member # 30487
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, August 1st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Holly Isis it's too late she is contagious...I got the lab results back today...


"Others often have an awareness of, or question, what we think we have been able to conceal or cover."

Posts: 258 | Registered: Dec 2010
Topic Posts: 7

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