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User Topic: A quote from a wise BS to help us all!
theseseatsRtaken
♂ Member
Member # 43088
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BW dropped an absolute gem on me tonight and just wanted to share.

I was expressing my frustration with the fact that now that I come forward with thoughts and feelings and memories regarding the affair that i would previously have hidden or lied about (ie: im open and honest now), it sometimes drops BW into a triggered, sad and/or hurt state.

She said this:

"You have to realise that its not the truth that does this, its the lies".

Sounds like common sense i guess, but really got to me. I always find it so easy to get angry internally every time i come forward with a truth that i never would have before, and it turns a good day into a bad day in an instant. This very basic statement really helps me deal with that more effectively, and gives me greater confidence to keep doing it, even when its going to hurt.

Because the truth is the only thing offering me a way back into this marriage. The lies are the door I left through in the first place.


Me: WH 29
Her: BW 31 (RomanticInnocenc)
Our son: Almost 1!
DDay#1 Jan 8, 2014, DDay#2 Jan 10 2014
Dreaming of a brighter tomorrow, focussing on a transformative present. R is a gift. Embrace it.
I don't PM with female members.

Posts: 136 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
Neznayou
♀ Member
Member # 40654
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The most difficult lies for me to recognize are the ones I've told myself.


Me: WW
Caught at AP's house: 10 Aug 2012
Admitted PA: 12 Aug 2012
TT ended: Jan 2014

"Power, Lincoln, real power comes not from hate, but from truth."


Posts: 332 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: America to Europe
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's it, in a nutshell. It's the lies, that cause the wounds. Not telling the truth, but hiding the lies. And continuing to lie TO hide the lies.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 5100 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Trying2LoveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 43024
Default  Posted: 3:19 PM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good post! It's also the Omission of truth that can hurt. WS can't just tell "part" of the truth & think it's ok! I think most BS aquire a 6th sense that tells us "There's still more to this story".


Me:BS
Him:FWH
2 DS:35 & 30 , 2 D Grandchildren
"Oh the webs we weave, when first we practice to deceive"....My WH quotes this often.
I found out about H's affair 25 yrs later.Mine is my own "Life is a journey, travel with Care."

Posts: 336 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: New Mexico
DrJekyll
♂ Member
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My BS tells me all the time. The actions are bad. But it is the lies and deceit that destroy the M


I am no longer Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. I am me, and they are both part of me.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

I do not PM with Women


Posts: 843 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 5

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