My BH suggested to me today that I send a check to both places returning the approximate amount of money that I took and let the companies decide what to do. I am not sure what to do. I suggested to BH that I save the money and donate it to a cause like the animal shelter that I volunteer with or see if there is a scholarship fund for the amusement park employees. He said that the businesses should decide what to do with the money and donating to the animal shelter will serve my interests not the amusement park or pharmacy. I looked on-line and the pharmacy is no longer in business. The amusement park is a multi-million dollar business.
He said that this would be a way of correcting some of my wrongs since I can't correct the wrongs that I did to him. I do feel bad about what I did, but at the time I probably justified to myself that it was okay what I was doing. Any thoughts?
ETA: I just talked to BH after posting this. I've decided since the pharmacy is closed, I will donate that amount of money to the animal shelter. I contacted the amusement park. There is a scholarship program that is funded by the corporate office. There is also a local scholarship program as well - I gave the director of HR my info and she is going to get me info on how to donate. I didn't tell her on the phone about the theft, but I feel that this will be a positive thing so that the kids that work there can be helped.
[This message edited by pizzalover at 4:11 PM, August 2nd (Saturday)]
Me - WW 39
Him - BH 40 (mpb1974)
2 Furrbabies - sweet cats
Met - 8/13/99
Started dating - 9/11/99
Moved in together - 3/03
Engaged - 6/5/09
Married - 8/21/10
D-Day - 1/24/13
Affair started 5/09
I wonder, for how many WS was stealing a "gateway drug" to infidelity? Surely we're not the only two.
He said that the businesses should decide what to do with the money and donating to the animal shelter will serve my interests not the amusement park or pharmacy.
Ultimately making amends is mostly about serving your interests, isn't it? Businesses expect and budget for shrinkage, from employees and patrons, because stealing is a normal human behavior. You sending $500 (what about 15 years' interest?) isn't going to erase your transgressions or change anyone's life, except yours.
How do you feel about it? I mean the stealing behvaior, and/or the restitution? Had you ever considered restitution before BH suggested it?
"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"
ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)
I do not PM with Women
Ultimately making amends is mostly about serving your interests, isn't it?
[This message edited by pizzalover at 5:35 PM, August 3rd (Sunday)]
You said you feel very ashamed at what you did, but the next sentence you said "I could have been caught. I could have gone to jail". Which was worse?...being ashamed? Or the fact that you could have been caught & gone to jail?? I honestly think you mean well, but then again, your BH DID have to suggest paying it back right?