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Newest Member: asherssoul (45716)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Monster--the *gift* that just keeps on giving....
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So today is his birthday and it's turned out to STILL be really, really triggery for me. HIS birthday bothers ME!

6/08 -- dday. *Flirty* emails found. Reason given was because I was so *busy* with kids/charity events.
8/08 -- I arrange a *surprise* vow renewal ceremony on HIS birthday in order to convey my commitment to him. He is OVER THE MOON with my *gift* to him. Until he finds out that Rugsweeping was NOT a part of the vow renewal ceremony.

8/11 -- Life in the Gonna household is not so great because Gonna now knows that she's dealing with an unremorseful serial-cheater who is NOT making any progress on the *fix the marriage to become a safe person* front. MIL is visiting for his b-day. Monster is at football practice with my youngest and I am in the office printing checks that he HAS to hand out to people the next day. DS comes to the office door:
DS: Do you have a cake for dad?
Me: No.
DS: Are you going to make one?
Me: No.
DS: Well, do you care if me and Gma go and get him a cake?
Me: No. That would be great.
They go and get a cake. Monster comes home. MIL thinks that it's a good decision to tell him that I didn't *bother* to get him a cake for his b-day.

Gonna and Monster get into a heated discussion later because his mom is a bitch and he would rather believe *her* version over mine -- I was going to go and pick up a cake after I was done with the checks because no one's birthday goes unacknowledged in my household.

I told MIL off the next morning for being a passive aggressive witch and I don't think she appreciated it much. Tough shit. I was a really good wife to her son and all she wanted to do was cause trouble -- and since Monster's always looking for *trouble* to attribute to me, it didn't take much for her to stir the pot.

And now....to top all of his shenanigans off, he's apparently decided that enough time has passed that he can *legitimately* start fucking with the money without looking like a douchebag.

Remind me again....divorce is a *real* thing, right????? It really happens for people???


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8181 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

he's apparently decided that enough time has passed that he can *legitimately* start fucking with the money

Your lawyers going to *love* that!

It does happen gonna. Sending strength to help you get through.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 3160 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
deena
♀ Member
Member # 27275
Default  Posted: 11:13 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you list of Hugs and Strength

And TONS of patience

One thing I don't understand how he can get mad at you for not getting him a cake!? Why should you!? How can he even expect it!?
Let mommy spoil the boy more. Your tine is done!?


Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's
better to leave them broken than to hurt
yourself putting it back together.


Posts: 3124 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Canada
ChoosingHope
♀ Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 12:11 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And now....to top all of his shenanigans off, he's apparently decided that enough time has passed that he can *legitimately* start fucking with the money without looking like a douchebag.

I'm sure you can make sure the truth is told and he still looks like a douchbag!

Your post makes me remember how EX ruined every single birthday, vacation, and holiday for years.

((((((HUGS))))))


Posts: 1736 | Registered: Oct 2011
determinata
Member
Member # 42124
Default  Posted: 5:45 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(Hug)
Can you make the day about you somehow? Do something fun? Buy yourself something? Take back the day.


M 2007. DDay 2008
~10+ CL Prostitutes in 8 months
Divorcing SAWH "ActionsOverWords"
Me: Early 30s BW (also an adult OC) w Baby DS

6 years of TT, hidden STD & false R
Separated 5 mos+; he will not commit
Someday I will be okay


Posts: 288 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One thing I don't understand how he can get mad at you for not getting him a cake!?

This motherfucker literally wanted his cake too


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2639 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 5:46 PM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your lawyers going to *love* that!
I think my L's as sick of dealing with him as I am.

I'm sure you can make sure the truth is told and he still looks like a douchbag!
No can do -- he and I no longer travel in the same family/social circles.


Can you make the day about you somehow?
I've found that distracting myself just doesn't work. It's really odd -- some significant dates have a lead-up *anxious* feeling, then it's "be a slug on *that* day", and then the next day I'm absolutely fine and back to normal. I just roll with it.

Do something fun?
I could have done something fun if I hadn't been stuck at the house all afternoon waiting for the cable guy because.....the installation appointment that had been scheduled for the day before (Friday) had been *mysteriously* cancelled....<not pointing any fingers, just sayin'.>
So thank you, Deena, for the patience.


This motherfucker literally wanted his cake too
Omg. I canNOT believe that I have never, ever thought of it that way!....guess I was always too busy being angry/defensive about it.
I like your *take* on it much better, BG. Thanks for the laugh.

[This message edited by gonnabe2016 at 6:10 PM, August 3rd (Sunday)]


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8181 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This motherfucker literally wanted his cake too


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4801 | Registered: Feb 2008
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((gonna))))))))

In the long run, it's better to slug thru the day feeling whatever you feel vs distracting yourself and stuffing the feelings.

You will show the court his true duocheness and they will see it.

Most divorced are a marathon, yours is the ironman.

It will be over...it will be over.... It will be over.

Will you throw a huge party when it's over?

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5528 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 9:05 AM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, please...throw a huge party when this bullshit is over.

I'll bring YOU the cake!!!!


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4734 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Topic Posts: 10

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