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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Dang. Still handsome.
Harriet
♀ Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been doing so well the last few days - really feeling indifferent . I'm really happy about it, but I'm waiting for the shoe to drop because it always seems to.

I spent some time with ex today (we're sending our daughter off on a big trip) and for the first time in a long time, I looked at him. I usually avoid him. I gave him a good long stare...and damn if he isn't still one of the most handsome men I have ever met .

Still don't want him, as I know how broken he is. And I'm still feeling fine. In the past, I usually have hard days the day after I spend time with him, but I am hoping that my indifference holds steady.

I will check in tomorrow. I'm far more sad about saying goodbye to my DD for a month, but I'm excited and proud of her, too.


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 490 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know, I can see that a painting is pretty but know that it isn't my taste and wouldn't go in my house at ALL. That doesn't mean the picture isn't nice.

Too bad your painting had a HOle in it....


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Harriet
♀ Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A HOrrible HOle.


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 490 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 11:13 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Harriet)))))


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 11:45 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I recently said something along this line on here about The Princess. The response I received (can't remember from whom) was like this: "She may still have some outer beauty, but her inside is rotting."

Totally true. You can do better than that arsehole.


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2080 | Registered: Jan 2013
deena
♀ Member
Member # 27275
Default  Posted: 11:54 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HOle!!!

Awesome!


Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's
better to leave them broken than to hurt
yourself putting it back together.


Posts: 3049 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Canada
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 12:01 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My XWH looks like Clark Kent, it was something we always joked about. But it doesn't make him Superman. Looks really mean nothing. Conduct defines people far more than looks.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4607 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 1:48 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of the benefits of marrying a guy with a face like a foot is I don't have this problem.

I've also worked with complete fuckwits who happen to be very aesthetically attractive - it was confusing having them be brain sewerage AND eye candy at the same time.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5608 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
betrayedpregnant
♀ Member
Member # 43304
Default  Posted: 3:07 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

STRICTLY SUPERFICIALLY SPEAKING, I know how you feel. My STBX used to be on magazine covers, greeting cards, TV commercials, huge murals at the department store, clothing catalogue, magazine articles, runway shows, cosmopolitan calendar, travel brochures, newspaper ads, coffee table books, even museum! I mean when I first saw him, I was so choked up I couldn't even speak.
In fact, this is the only thing bad about splitting up with him. He treated me in the most cruel way that I have to admit if he were ugly, it would be much easier to get over him. I should have known that someone who looks insanely good and has a golden heart and is faithful is probably too good to be true.
Again, just thinking superficially.... I KNOW HE'S ROTTEN INSIDE . I wish i knew before 11 years though. I guess cheaters will cheat whether they look like a demigod or a foot

Posts: 277 | Registered: May 2014 | From: Hawaii
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 6:12 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me, no matter how good the package looks, once I see that the inside is for shit, I can't really see the outside as attractive anymore. It's weird, sort of - almost like I don't see the exterior anymore.

Betrayed - all I could think of when I read your post was how much it must suck to have to look at that cheating fucker's face everywhere you go and without warning. Talk about triggers....

Better today Harriet?


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Harriet
♀ Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 12:43 AM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am really exceptionally pleased with myself. After such a terrible time triggering a few weeks ago (and after some pretty shabby treatment) I think I have turned a corner in my healing.

I hardly thought about him at all today even though he came by to get our son, and when he texted me, crickets just seemed natural.

I cannot tell you how wonderful this indifference feels. I thought I would never get here. I thought people said it just to encourage me.

I am going to try to not get too cocky, though. I know there may be triggers in the future that will get me down, but I just feel so good about where I am emotionally right now.

Thanks for comments and hugs!

Betrayedpregnant - I think I would have dumped him long before, as well, but, superficial though it is, the darn package was so appealing. I actually told myself several times that he was too good to be true and so I must be the luckiest woman alive. HA!


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 490 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
Topic Posts: 11

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