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Newest Member: confusedwife32 (44902)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Ok,enough now, I'm losing beauty sleep and I can't afford it
AmSoDone
♀ Member
Member # 43871
Default  Posted: 11:19 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't sleep and have been having a big old pity party all by myself.

Nothing triggered this specifically today but it's been coming for a while. I looked back over my posts and I started with a panic attack about a month ago and I've been hold on by a thread ever since. All the contact, NC, DD issues, THAT text message etc. have taken their toll and I'm a blubbering mess.

So much for my vow never to shed another tear over this man. (He promised he would never make me cry again )

I know I can't change anything. I told my DD that it would take a MAJOR event, i.e. him saying that he was going to a monastery in Tibet to find himself before I would even entertain the thought of 'us' again. So what is my problem?

Help me here, what should I be doing to get past this?



BP(me) 50
WP (scumbag) 52
On-off for 32 years
1DD
1 DGD
Too many D Days to count. Same with OW.

Posts: 130 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 11:23 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((AmSoDone))))

We can't get past it just because we want to, unfortunately. Meditation, exercise, relying on bonds with friends and family, time, investing in our own interest and future, IC, reading books on healing all help; but crying the tears helps too, even when we don't want to honor them with anymore of our emotional energy. Think of the tears as being not because of him but for your own benefit--a way of cleansing yourself. The cure for the pain, is the pain.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4142 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 11:36 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're just working your way THROUGH. It's the only way to go.

It sucks.

You'll be better for it on the other side.

(((Hugs)))


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
AmSoDone
♀ Member
Member # 43871
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, you are both right. I think I fooled myself into thinking that I could deal with our break-up. Maybe I thought there might be some chance of R somewhere along the way, IDK. I was waiting for him to come to me at some point.

Then came the OW revelation and it has blown all my thinking out of the water. That has changed everything.


BP(me) 50
WP (scumbag) 52
On-off for 32 years
1DD
1 DGD
Too many D Days to count. Same with OW.

Posts: 130 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
hopefulfourus
♀ Member
Member # 25204
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Hugs))))

I too, am having problems sleeping. Too much is swirling around in your head right now. In a way I can't wait to go back to work in the fall as I think my mind will be preoccupied and kept busy with other things. Unfortunately, right now, I have a lot of free time. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of things that I could be doing to stay busy, but I feel frozen to even move off the couch to go do them.

You and I seem to be around the same point in time. Try to get some rest, even if it's during odd times during the day.


Me: BW. 40's
Him: WH POS. 40's
2 kids. DD16, DS14

Don't let my user name fool you...I am NOT hopeful for us at ALL!!


Posts: 62 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: New York
Topic Posts: 5

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