Mediation is set for Tuesday, which just happens to be the 25th anniversary of our wedding. It was a random thing...and when my L told me the scheduled date, I burst out laughing --just seems so fitting/a good omen.
Here's the thing -- I'm so tired of this. Tired of being the one who is responsible, who takes care of getting the bills paid. I had a minimal job-- gave up career and moved thousands of miles to be near WH's family. I have no family nearby.
I am frightened of what may happen on Tuesday. My L has been great, but I know that there are so many factors in play, including OW. Her daddy is a big-time L in another state. WH is a cheapskate and has been getting advice from daddy. He does have an L here in town, naturally OW chose him.
Trying to protect my youngest grown child's final year of college. Trying to not lose everything, including my sanity.
Completely aware that mediation may fail, which will mean more bills, more debts.
Also, terribly aware that even if it goes well, there is a vast world of hard work, difficult choices, and massive mountains of more stuff to do.
Finding a decent job at 56 is more than daunting. I've worked PT from home for years, but that won't cut it.
I know that, eventually, things will be okay. Just so stressed and worried.
Trying to make a rock-bottom budget for the negotiations (L's strong suggestion),but oh, this isn't easy.
Thanks for listening to me whine.
Since my Mom died on July 1, it has been hard to reach out to friends, even hard to reach out to family. Not sure why. Just hard.
Me: BS, 56
STBXH (fervently hoping on the soon part),50
Married 24 years, will be 25 on 8/5/2014
Two wonderful, brilliant grown children
Filed for D on 4/23/2014