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Newest Member: madattheworld (45057)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Venting in Cyberspace
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am purchasing a second home prior to filing so my kids have some stability in this shit storm. Her folks are providing a personal loan so I can make a cash offer, as a deal between them and I; in their words "we don't make deals with her, she's never followed through...." (um, they could have warned me prior to M!)

STBX and I are countering on a house tomorrow that needs some work but the bones are good. I couldn't do a good analysis the first time through as the kids were rambunctious so I met the realtor a second time and did a 45 minute walk through jotting notes (I grew up working with my Dad doing light construction and used to inspect buildings through my work, along with calculating market and replacement values and deferred maintenance, so while not all knowing I'm not a clown). I noted roughly $35k in work that needed to be done (for perfect new condition house) and factored that into the offer price. Biggest three issues are roof, siding, and electrical, which in my area can be accomplished for under $20k, and are factored into the equity loan I will use to pay in Laws back and make repairs. Should come out with a 70% LTV when its said and done.

STBX starts a conversation about how OM is a licensed contractor and has offered to go through the house before I counter on Monday, just to make sure she's not going to get screwed over. I just looked at her (as I've done quite a bit lately) like she had OM's appendage growing out of her forehead, and said nothing. She honestly didn't get it, and attempted to ask for over an hour why I was angry and wasn't speaking to her.

Cake eating lying cheating head up her ass stbxw (not soon enough) is the most selfish, clueless, dishonest person I have met since my ex wife. The fact that I bred with either one leads me to question my own mental state. SHE THINKS I'M BUYING HER A HOUSE, DESPITE THE FACT I HAVE REITERATED TIME AND AGAIN THAT I AM BUYING MY KIDS A HOUSE! She forgets I WILL remain on title as I will receive 50% of any and all equity if / when its sold.

If it weren't for the fact that I can come to SI and vent / rant / ramble I am sure I would have exploded weeks ago, adding to the dysfunctional bull shit my kids are enduring.

[This message edited by HurtingandLost at 9:40 AM, August 3rd (Sunday)]


36 BH
Sons 16 and 8 Daughters 11, 7, 5.
Ex and STBX both cheated, thinking of getting a dog as a companion after D. At least they're loyal.

Posts: 1019 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: MidWest
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you consulted an attorney? I'd be hesitant to purchase a home while still married. If it's a communal property state, she is entitled to half of the home. I'd get dime legal advice before making the purchase. I'd also be hesitant to allow her family to help me. Things can change very quickly during a divorce. Blood is always thicker than water.


BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 902 | Registered: Mar 2013
deena
♀ Member
Member # 27275
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SI is a great place to retain your sanity.

Sorry to hear about what an insensitive person she is. Bringing OM into a conversation is a low dumb move.

(((((((HurtingandLost))))))


Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's
better to leave them broken than to hurt
yourself putting it back together.


Posts: 2962 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Canada
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 11:00 AM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is a community property state and yes, she will be entitled to HALF of the equity. We've agreed that we will both remain on title for BOTH houses. She cannot qualify for a loan on her own and around here the mortgage will be less than half of rent for comparable house / neighborhood.

As for blood being thicker than water, yes. Her Mom is a lying cheating shit disturber who has placed fucked up idea after fucked up idea into her head for years (both have borderline personality disorder), and I trust her as far as I can throw her. Only thing I DO trust is her step dad's word. He and I have always shot straight to the point and disowned both women's bullshit time and again. We've even come up with the saying we're both married to the same woman. Even after this shit's done, I expect to stay on good terms with him. Her Mom? Not so much.


36 BH
Sons 16 and 8 Daughters 11, 7, 5.
Ex and STBX both cheated, thinking of getting a dog as a companion after D. At least they're loyal.

Posts: 1019 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: MidWest
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shocker alert. She's not at work as she said, she's with OM. Color me surprised folks. Hope that counter offer goes through tomorrow so I can see the end of this disrespect under my roof.


36 BH
Sons 16 and 8 Daughters 11, 7, 5.
Ex and STBX both cheated, thinking of getting a dog as a companion after D. At least they're loyal.

Posts: 1019 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: MidWest
Topic Posts: 5

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