I know dd cannot choose where to live. Its hearing her say these things though. Its him getting the satisfaction that she chooses him over me. Is ow getting the satisfaction that she not only "won" him, but my dd as well. I would NEVER agree to let dd live with him. She's my baby. My mini me. My "best friend". Will she view his place as more family oriented because there is a daddy and a "mommy" figure there??? I just don't know. That is my fear...
When we modify I will make sure this is touched on more clearly.
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Its him getting the satisfaction that she chooses him over me.
Just remember her age and her development. At 4, one day she's gonna love green lollipops the mostest and think they're the BEST ONES EVER, and the next she'll hate them with a passion and insist on throwing them all out into the backyard.
Also, try not to *believe* what your ex is saying because it's most likely a version of reality that he's twisted into a way that suits him best, kwim?
You are your DD's mom. No one else will ever have that claim to fame.
If anyone has any other suggestions for modifications as well, I am more that eager to hear! I want to make sure I cover all of my bases.
My lawyer actually did mention this, and said in that case, I would need to do another modification. She said I cannot force a parent to spend time with his/her kid, but that modification is always on the table, and if he slacks in getting her, then I would have to modify again. I guess I could have it worded in there that if he goes below 50/50, then I will have the "right" to modify the agreement and child support. I'm sure that won't fly with him, but it can't ALL be his way or the highway. For the most part, I am working with him as his requests aren't completely insane. They are actually reasonable requests. I am worried that because I do not react the way he probably wants me to react (with anger and fighting) that he may up teh ante and try something ridiculous. I just want to move on and have zero interest in teh drama. So hopefully, he feels the same way. Fingers crossed!
I am not interested in keeping dd from him or in using her as a pawn. I am not interested in "proving" she loves me more.
I was just curious about the modification since I kinda have a "if it ain't broke, don't mess with it" attitude. I'm concerned that you are going out of your way to show your willingness to *work with him* by LEGALLY giving up time with your DD and CS from him......while he's acting sketchy (ie: the *missed* good-night call). The LAST thing that you want to do is give up whatever legal entitlements you have now...only to end up back in court because your ex is unwilling to uphold his end of the agreement, kwim? Once you give up and forego what you have now, it'll be REALLY hard to *go back*.