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Newest Member: harleyhugs (45741)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: My ex is such an effing Scrooge.
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just have to put this here so I can sound off and move on. He's not worth the air I breathe, but I won't deny that his selfishness when it comes to our kids still angers me.

A few weeks ago, ex-cheater and I had a little email correspondence about our children's dental visit. Poor, downtrodden ex was dismayed to see how much it cost for three cleanings, some x-rays, and three checkups (I pay 50% of that, so it cost me just as much). He felt that I needed to be more savvy and shop around, and he wanted our kids to see his much cheaper dentist the next town over. I told him that it was up to him to make all of the arrangements if that's what he wanted, and he did. Fine. That was that. I hope his dentist doesn't turn out to be a quack, so that remains to be seen.

Anyway, the ex also asked me a while ago if I could keep the kids during his usual weekly overnight this past week because he'd be out of town. I kept the kids, and they just came back from their weekend visitation with him. Guess where he was when he was out of town? BERMUDA (for at least one leg of the trip-- a friend of mine ran into him in Boston and told me!). Gosh, I'm sure that was a cheap trip. Knowing my ex, they stayed in what was probably one of the nicest places there; he never spared any expense when it came to traveling to places that he wanted to visit.

I don't know why I find it so amazing that he's crapping his pants over a dental bill but happily traveling for a week to an exotic location (probably to celebrate their one-year wedding cheaterversary). It pisses me off to know that I am going to have to deal with this every time there's some kid expense he doesn't like, and then I'll hear from the kids about some flashy expense he happily made on himself and his whore (and this isn't the first thing he's done-- there have been a bunch of other things). I'm sure he's champing at the bit at the thought of getting CS lowered if he can at the three-year mark.

I'm all for being responsible and being careful with expenses, but I don't preach about that when I think a "non-fun" bill is too high and then run off and take a luxury vacation. I'm pretty careful about my money in every area of my life; I don't shortchange my children so that I can indulge myself.

Thanks. If anyone understands this garbage, it's all of you. Only 12 years left!


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3643 | Registered: Oct 2011
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sure he's champing at the bit at the thought of getting CS lowered if he can at the three-year mark.

riiiiiight.... cause kids get cheaper as they get older. And everything costs exactly the same.

((hugs)) You look so much better without him! Oh, and thanks for the new word: cheaterversary. LOVE it!!!


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5907 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
GreatRoleModel
♀ Member
Member # 36809
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, August 3rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh I totally get this, it's astonishing isn't it but not surprising. Mine is the same way when it comes to medical care, now mind you they have been going to these same providers the past 14-17 years (all their life) nothing new. Also he makes high six figures so he can afford it. So he has been seeing a therapist out of network since Dec 2010 right after Dday, but as soon as I find a therapist for our kids (one kid was cutting) and was out of network he had a tantrum.

He is also holding college over their heads so if they don't have a relationship with him then no college. All I can say is that girls see it and know where they stand and they get to decide how much of the game they are willing to play...he set the playing field not me or the girls. All I do is remind them that is not a healthy way to have a relationship with anyone and absolutely not ok for a parent/child.

I keep telling myself there has to be a special place in hell for WS that hurt the kids. All I know after many years on SI, hell has got to be a hot real estate market in more ways than one with all these messed up WS's.

So sorry you are dealing with Scrooge but unfortunately there are multiple ones around.


BS (me)
XWS (him) NPD
DIVORCED!!!
It takes a village to deal with the village idiot!
“If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane.”
― Robert Frost

Posts: 393 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: NC
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:24 AM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hear ya, trying. I'm dealing with this in a different iteration. ex-shat texts me this week, "Does Teslet need a new back-pack or clothes for school?"
uhhhhhhh....
"Teslet's school tuition is due XXX, your half (including the registration fee that I already paid for you) comes to $XXXX. He does not need a new back-pack."

These guys aren't scrooges. They just prefer to spend their money in flashy, ego-kibble getting ways. Dentistry and Education...frivolous details!!


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4738 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh hell no.

And I would NOT let him be in charge of the dentistry. He won't take them, and if he does, he will feel all other things are not necessary. NO WAY IN HELL would I let him run the show with their health in any way, shape, or form.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3491 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
suckstobeme
♀ Member
Member # 30853
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's such a shit stain. Seriously.

I hope his vacation to sunny Bermuda involved a massive tropical storm, followed by days of sunburns and the squirts for him and CommandOWife.

As if you're taking the kids to the doctor or the dentist unnecessarily just to rack up expenses, of which you pay 50% anyway. Riiiiiiiiight.

Kids cost money, dipshit exWH! That's what they do. They are not profitable. They need stuff all the effing time. Not stuffed animals or lollipops; important shit like health care, education, shelter, heat, food, and clothes. I suppose that is lost on a dude who let's his five year old go to school without underwear because he's too cheap, too lazy and/or too much of a selfish dickhead to buy or wash some.

This response has no decent advice. I just wanted to vent for you and let you know that we all understand what a total waste of a parent and a man he is.


BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

Posts: 2881 | Registered: Jan 2011
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, August 4th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ex-asshat hasn't paid CS in six years. No medical/dental money, either.

I totally get how you feel. But I just don't understand this jerks. How can ego kibble crap be more important than your kids?

(((trying)))


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15435 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Topic Posts: 7

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