I was reading something similar within a different forum about this and I can so totally relate. I totally avoid conflict. I like everything to be happy and never address the bad stuff. My mother always ingrained it into my head.
My h was served D papers last week. We had a talk after this happened. I told him things that I've been wanting to tell him for awhile; how much he has hurt me and our kids and although that I may have also hurt him, I didn't hurt him that way he did to me (having an A). It was very freeing to get that off my chest.
So now I am wondering if we had just talked, maybe we would not be here at this point. Maybe we would have a future together. There is still so much that needs to be talked about. I almost feel that it needs to be said before it ends.
Or am I feeling scared/sad that it's over. That I'm going to be alone.
I also need to be careful because right now I have the upper hand as my H would have a lot to lose if we D ( medical insurance). He would also hide his assets if I pulled the D.
I just feel so at rock bottom. Me: BW. 40's
Him: WH POS. 40's
2 kids. DD16, DS14
Don't let my user name fool you...I am NOT hopeful for us at ALL!!