Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: KevinTheAsshole (45445)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Is it too late to inform OW's betrayed boyfriend?
Loadsofchocolate
♀ Member
Member # 40708
Angry  Posted: 4:09 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's been just over a year since dday1 and 8 months since dday5 ( when NC letter was sent). I know now that on dday 1 I hardly knew anything about the full extent of the affair which is why I didn't contact the BBF (betrayed boyfriend). The affair went underground several times and I was on the receiving end of lots of TT and multiple broken NC. On dday5 I discovered everything (I hope) and WH sent a proper NC letter. After the NC letter was sent I thought it was too late to contact the BBF and hoped the OW would just get the message and leave us alone.

OW has harassed me and stalked me online for over a year. It doesn't happen so much now as I deleted my accounts, including my FB account which she hacked for a second time a few months ago. Every time the affair went underground it was by watching what she did in a few hidden places online that led me to discover NC had been broken. I still regularly check on her to confirm that NC is being maintained. The public profiles, as expected, have multiple taunts to try and get a reaction from me (I have never replied to any of her messages or had any form of contact with her), in the hidden places she is clearly still totally obsessed with WH and recently posted that "she is never going to give up until he divorces the slut" (in the context of - never going to give up harassing me.)

Due to my employment I need to make a visible online profile and I am certain that is going to open up a whole load of abuse from her. If this happens again (as I expect it will) would it be too late to contact the BFF and let him know about the affair last year and that his girlfriend is still obsessed with a married man or would it be best to just try and ignore? I really don't know what the best way forward is and any advice would be very much appreciated


Dday1 - June 2013 admits EA
Dday2 - June 2013 broken NC minutes after agreeing to reconciliation - only found out 3 weeks later
Dday3 - July 2013 broken NC
Dday4 - September 2013 broken NC
Dday5 - January 2014 broken NC admits PA

Posts: 51 | Registered: Sep 2013
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's never too late. PLEASE, TELL HIM.

And sometimes it seems that when OW are continually obsessed, it's not because they are delusional, it's because they are still in contact with the wayward.

If she's not letting him go, maybe he's not given her a reason to.

There are millions of ways they could go underground. My ex fucker used the chat feature on a fucking scrabble game on his phone to go underground. Waywards can be some sneaky fuckers.

I would tell the boyfriend ASAP. I think it gives your relationship a better chance as well..


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2398 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think you should take what ever evidence of the affair and take it right to him, personally!

Do not warn your WS, do not warn OW.

Do not send it thru fb, email, etc because most BS are trusting people and they have the link right on their phone to their email and f/b.....

But yes, please tell him today. Wouldnt' you want to know?


Keep Calm and Happy On!

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed


Posts: 2250 | Registered: Jan 2012
BtraydWife
♀ Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 9:53 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Never too late.


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.


Posts: 1996 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
cantgetup
♀ Member
Member # 36146
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. First and foremost a personal visit to the BBF. Like yesterday. But more importantly, where is your WS in all of this? He needs to step up and make this stop, and shouldn't rest until it's permanently resolved.

Posts: 319 | Registered: Jul 2012
Loadsofchocolate
♀ Member
Member # 40708
Default  Posted: 4:20 AM, August 8th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all for your replies. I only have a cell phone number for the BBF so I'll have to plan what I want to say and call him. I guess I have to just keep it brief and factual?


Dday1 - June 2013 admits EA
Dday2 - June 2013 broken NC minutes after agreeing to reconciliation - only found out 3 weeks later
Dday3 - July 2013 broken NC
Dday4 - September 2013 broken NC
Dday5 - January 2014 broken NC admits PA

Posts: 51 | Registered: Sep 2013
Topic Posts: 6

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.