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User Topic: I need to put my dog to sleep
Pentup
♀ Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go to the vet and let me assess. I had a dog do that and at the vets to make sure, had labs done. Not compatible with life. I know my fur baby was trying to be there for me. Take him, get an X-ray, know for sure. If it is ok, bring him home and rejoice. You don't want to not do it and have him in pain in the middle of the night


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6587 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please go to the vet and have him looked at. Sometimes they will rebound just a bit, before they crash big-time. And you don't want your sweet Fred to have to go through that.

It's so hard. One of the only gifts that we can give our fur friends, is the assurance that at the end, they will have someone who loves them enough to take the pain from them, and who will send them on with love, caresses, and hugs. Would that we all could go that way. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4856 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
JellyGirl84
♀ Member
Member # 41717
Default  Posted: 3:06 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Painful,

I'm so sorry to read this news. I have been there and it is hard. I will say, if you've never put a dog to sleep before, that it is a smooth and gentle process. The dog does not seem to feel any pain and is quickly unconscious before the drug is administered. I have only done this for one dog. It is very difficult but I'd imagine much better than for the dog to suffer countless days until he dies from his ailment.

I'd also like to add that I completely understand the violation you felt that your fWH allowed his AP to see your dogs...my xWH's AP made an arts and crafts project with pictures of the one we put to sleep and the two we got since then as its feature. I thought it was a nice gesture until I learned she was the AP. Unfortunately, by the time I searched for it with my sledgehammer in hand, my xWH had already thought ahead and had hidden it from me. Then, I had to give my xWH one of the two dogs in the D. I pray to all that is holy that his whore doesn't touch my dog but I'm sure it's not the case...

[This message edited by JellyGirl84 at 3:07 PM, August 6th (Wednesday)]


Me: BS 30
WH: 30
No kids
Divorced in June 2014
Together 10 yrs, Married for 3 of those yrs
OP: Ho worker
Divorced June 2014

Posts: 162 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Nj
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 4:54 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I kept the appt. but asked that he just get looked at. They said he's not in pain, and looks happy (at the moment). I described everything, and the vet said that this isn't a pain situation, it's a fear situation - Fred's breathing is getting worse. She said as long as he's happy, then we just need to be very careful and keep our eye on him. She did say she didn't think it would be long - a few days.

Thank you all again for your support, and for the suggestion for taking him in either way.


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1893 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
Jomarion
♀ Member
Member # 43659
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is very difficult to know when it is time to let go. My vet said just about the same thing to me with my dog with lung cancer - he was not in pain, it was more the fear of not being able to breathe. My vet said lung cancer was not a painful type of cancer. My dog had a few rebounds, happy days, happy hours, before the time came to say good-bye. His breathing would seem to improve sometimes. When the time came, his morphine patches no longer helped him to relax, his breathing was consistently rapid and labored, (six hours with no rebounds), and his eyes seemed to turn inwards, as if all his concentration was on himself and his breathing. Though he always, to the end, was deeply calmed by my presence, and often seemed to help him breathe more easily. I do remember cool air and air conditioning seemed to help him, I always had him in front of a fan in a cool air-conditioned room. He also always needed me near him, and I was, so he would be less afraid.

In the end he was unable to walk, and I carried him. Even before he died, he insisted on going out to pee, I would carry him as walking was too laborious.

For myself, a wagging tail means Fred is still finding joy in life. Desire to eat was also a big sign in life's pleasures for my animal children.

A very close sign of death (hours, or minutes) is my dogs will often seek out a place to be alone, which is a bit contrary to following me and wanting to be everywhere I am.

I have had a candle lit for your Fred as I promised. It is shining now. I hope my prayers are helping him.

It is the last and most difficult gift to give to our animal children, letting them go. I am so glad Fred has you there caring so lovingly for him in his final days or hours. I have worked in many animal shelters, holding dogs as they died simply because nobody wanted them, giving them at least a few minutes of love before they passed on. Fred has had years of love with you. What gifts you have given him. He is so blessed.


me:BGF, 54, American immigrant. one son. me and my ex get along great, the most amicable split imaginable!
him:WBF,43, Polish immigrant
together since 2006,
DDay:October28,2009,after his 3 teen kids push him to cheat with OW.
5 betrayed me

Posts: 191 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
knutz
♀ Member
Member # 28877
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jomarion,

What you wrote was beautiful. Just beautiful.

This is an amazing community. With all the chaos, heartache and betrayal after betrayal -- it is such a comfort to have this place to come to for support, no matter what life throws at us.

Thank God for SI.

Painfulpast - you are so strong and so courageous. Wishing you more strength for the next few days.


Together 23 years
Married 20 Years
BW (me) 48
FWH: 49 (rSA)
2 children, 9 & 12
DDay: December 27, 2009
"Life is not what it is supposed to be. It is what it is. The way we cope with it is what makes the difference". Virginia Satir

Posts: 225 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: New England
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Painfulpast&Fred)))

Oh this makes my heart ache for you. How I miss my good puppy that we put down last year.

And it sucks that the situation is triggering you. I'm so sorry.

We did a kind of "one last great day" for our good boy and did his favorite things, played with all of his favorite toys, etc. 100% of our attention all day. It was different than it would have been, as some of his favorite activities he couldn't do anymore. We just loved him to pieces on his great day and made it the best we could.

Don't be afraid of it when the time comes. It will be ok. Terribly sad. But ok.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love to you and Fred.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8723 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
niaveone
♀ Member
Member # 40317
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry. I had my dog put to sleep during false R. She was my rock through DDay#1 and now looking back on the day that we sent her to Rainbow Bridge; it's a trigger to think I was leaning on the man that was screwing me over behind my back. It's hurtful to think 11 years of memories (my dog's lifetime) are jaded by his actions.

To make matters worse, during False R...we had a stray show up at our doorstep and my fWS bonded with him and he is still here. I can't bond with this dog because of all the triggers he sends out. I feel bad, because he is a decent dog, and wants my love; but all I can be is complacent with him. My kids love him. That's the ONLY reason he is here. To think my fWS cared about this dog while still carrying on his affair behind my back kills me. ggggrrr....

So yes, I am SO SORRY for your loss. I totally get it.


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married: 17 years
2 children
2 DDays

Posts: 219 | Registered: Aug 2013
Neverwudaguessed
♀ Member
Member # 41884
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, August 7th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Painfulpast, I can identify with those last days where you have finally made the most agonizing decision to end the suffering just to get the one sign that you had said previously if it was no longer there, then you would know it is time (like the desire to eat, getting up to great you, wagging the tail). It is such a responsibility to an innocent little soul and so final. I think taking him back home and enjoying him while ensuring his comfort for a couple of more days is a gift. No guilt; just enjoy him. So sorry that you are going through it.


BW: 44 Me
WH:48
DDay1 9-9-13 (18th Wedding Anniversary) 6 wk EA, 1 wk PA
DDay2: 10-25-13 EA/PA with same OW 12 1/2 years ago for 3 months
OW: XGF Predator who never stopped pursuing WH
DS 13
DD 11

Posts: 600 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 6:26 PM, August 13th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello all. Thank you all again. Fred is at Rainbow Bridge - thanks for reposting Jomarion. That story always makes me cry.

Fred was with us until Friday, August 8th. Both my H and I were there when he had his treats and quietly went to sleep on his oversized bed in the Vet's office. It was hard because his mind and appetite were still there, but he was now gasping for air and couldn't sleep for more than 5 minutes without waking up from the lack of air. It was the right thing to do for him, but I miss him so much.

Thank you all again for your kindness. It's so appreciated and helpful.


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1893 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
Cordelia
♀ Member
Member # 43568
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, August 13th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((( hugs PP ))))

I have lost two dogs in my life. The saddest times of my life.

My WS and I have been talking about getting a rescue dog recently, since I now work from home, but he doesn't yet know I am going to be giving him an ultimatum - whole truth or I'm leaving. It's one of the little dreams he has ruined for us.


Me 54, WS 49
17 yrs tog, no children.
DD 4/14 - OW wrote to me

Posts: 120 | Registered: May 2014
Jomarion
♀ Member
Member # 43659
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, August 13th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for letting us know about Fred's passing, PainfulPast. It sounds like you were able to give him a gentler and more loving death than most people get.

It hurts to know he was so fully present, that his mind hadn't gone because of his illness. But also that means he would have been fully there with you, able to feel fully and understand your love fully right up until he lost consciousness.

My prayers to you and Fred.

In my experience, the passing of a loved animal family member is exhausting. So be gentle on yourself, and rest.


me:BGF, 54, American immigrant. one son. me and my ex get along great, the most amicable split imaginable!
him:WBF,43, Polish immigrant
together since 2006,
DDay:October28,2009,after his 3 teen kids push him to cheat with OW.
5 betrayed me

Posts: 191 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
Jomarion
♀ Member
Member # 43659
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, August 13th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for letting us know about Fred's passing, PainfulPast. It sounds like you were able to give him a gentler and more loving death than most people get.

It hurts to know he was so fully present, that his mind hadn't gone because of his illness. But also that means he would have been fully there with you, able to feel fully and understand your love fully right up until he lost consciousness.

My prayers to you and Fred.

In my experience, the passing of a loved animal family member is exhausting. Be gentle on yourself, and rest.


me:BGF, 54, American immigrant. one son. me and my ex get along great, the most amicable split imaginable!
him:WBF,43, Polish immigrant
together since 2006,
DDay:October28,2009,after his 3 teen kids push him to cheat with OW.
5 betrayed me

Posts: 191 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, August 13th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry Painfulpast.


Choices, Chances, Changes.....You must make a Choice to take a Chance or your life will never Change.

Posts: 13768 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
knutz
♀ Member
Member # 28877
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, August 13th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry. You have been on my mind all week.

I can't even imagine the pain you are in. I hope the thought of seeing him again at Rainbow Bridge will keep you going.

Lots of hugs to you.

Knutz


Together 23 years
Married 20 Years
BW (me) 48
FWH: 49 (rSA)
2 children, 9 & 12
DDay: December 27, 2009
"Life is not what it is supposed to be. It is what it is. The way we cope with it is what makes the difference". Virginia Satir

Posts: 225 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: New England
Thinkingtoomuch
♀ Member
Member # 31765
Default  Posted: 10:20 PM, August 13th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


So sorry Painfulpast. He doesn't have to struggle to breathe anymore. It is so hard to lose such a great friend. It's the one yr. anniversary for mine.


Posts: 808 | Registered: Apr 2011
HolyMoly
♀ Member
Member # 36884
Default  Posted: 11:54 PM, August 13th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry PP, I had to do the same thing three weeks ago. My big, 120 lb, sweetheart. He was my protector. He would bark at WH when things got heated...always putting himself between us. I'll never forgive that cruel heartless man for hitting him, twice, hard, for barking.

Big hugs to you.


Posts: 130 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: California
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, August 14th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry, Painfulpast.


Posts: 3394 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Neverwudaguessed
♀ Member
Member # 41884
Default  Posted: 7:40 AM, August 14th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((painfulpast))


BW: 44 Me
WH:48
DDay1 9-9-13 (18th Wedding Anniversary) 6 wk EA, 1 wk PA
DDay2: 10-25-13 EA/PA with same OW 12 1/2 years ago for 3 months
OW: XGF Predator who never stopped pursuing WH
DS 13
DD 11

Posts: 600 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
Topic Posts: 63
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