It's so hard. One of the only gifts that we can give our fur friends, is the assurance that at the end, they will have someone who loves them enough to take the pain from them, and who will send them on with love, caresses, and hugs. Would that we all could go that way. (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012
I'm so sorry to read this news. I have been there and it is hard. I will say, if you've never put a dog to sleep before, that it is a smooth and gentle process. The dog does not seem to feel any pain and is quickly unconscious before the drug is administered. I have only done this for one dog. It is very difficult but I'd imagine much better than for the dog to suffer countless days until he dies from his ailment.
I'd also like to add that I completely understand the violation you felt that your fWH allowed his AP to see your dogs...my xWH's AP made an arts and crafts project with pictures of the one we put to sleep and the two we got since then as its feature. I thought it was a nice gesture until I learned she was the AP. Unfortunately, by the time I searched for it with my sledgehammer in hand, my xWH had already thought ahead and had hidden it from me. Then, I had to give my xWH one of the two dogs in the D. I pray to all that is holy that his whore doesn't touch my dog but I'm sure it's not the case...
[This message edited by JellyGirl84 at 3:07 PM, August 6th (Wednesday)]
Thank you all again for your support, and for the suggestion for taking him in either way.
In the end he was unable to walk, and I carried him. Even before he died, he insisted on going out to pee, I would carry him as walking was too laborious.
For myself, a wagging tail means Fred is still finding joy in life. Desire to eat was also a big sign in life's pleasures for my animal children.
A very close sign of death (hours, or minutes) is my dogs will often seek out a place to be alone, which is a bit contrary to following me and wanting to be everywhere I am.
I have had a candle lit for your Fred as I promised. It is shining now. I hope my prayers are helping him.
It is the last and most difficult gift to give to our animal children, letting them go. I am so glad Fred has you there caring so lovingly for him in his final days or hours. I have worked in many animal shelters, holding dogs as they died simply because nobody wanted them, giving them at least a few minutes of love before they passed on. Fred has had years of love with you. What gifts you have given him. He is so blessed.
What you wrote was beautiful. Just beautiful.
This is an amazing community. With all the chaos, heartache and betrayal after betrayal -- it is such a comfort to have this place to come to for support, no matter what life throws at us.
Thank God for SI.
Painfulpast - you are so strong and so courageous. Wishing you more strength for the next few days.
Oh this makes my heart ache for you. How I miss my good puppy that we put down last year.
And it sucks that the situation is triggering you. I'm so sorry.
We did a kind of "one last great day" for our good boy and did his favorite things, played with all of his favorite toys, etc. 100% of our attention all day. It was different than it would have been, as some of his favorite activities he couldn't do anymore. We just loved him to pieces on his great day and made it the best we could.
Don't be afraid of it when the time comes. It will be ok. Terribly sad. But ok.
To make matters worse, during False R...we had a stray show up at our doorstep and my fWS bonded with him and he is still here. I can't bond with this dog because of all the triggers he sends out. I feel bad, because he is a decent dog, and wants my love; but all I can be is complacent with him. My kids love him. That's the ONLY reason he is here. To think my fWS cared about this dog while still carrying on his affair behind my back kills me. ggggrrr....
So yes, I am SO SORRY for your loss. I totally get it.
Fred was with us until Friday, August 8th. Both my H and I were there when he had his treats and quietly went to sleep on his oversized bed in the Vet's office. It was hard because his mind and appetite were still there, but he was now gasping for air and couldn't sleep for more than 5 minutes without waking up from the lack of air. It was the right thing to do for him, but I miss him so much.
Thank you all again for your kindness. It's so appreciated and helpful.
I have lost two dogs in my life. The saddest times of my life.
My WS and I have been talking about getting a rescue dog recently, since I now work from home, but he doesn't yet know I am going to be giving him an ultimatum - whole truth or I'm leaving. It's one of the little dreams he has ruined for us.
It hurts to know he was so fully present, that his mind hadn't gone because of his illness. But also that means he would have been fully there with you, able to feel fully and understand your love fully right up until he lost consciousness.
My prayers to you and Fred.
In my experience, the passing of a loved animal family member is exhausting. So be gentle on yourself, and rest.
In my experience, the passing of a loved animal family member is exhausting. Be gentle on yourself, and rest.
Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.
I can't even imagine the pain you are in. I hope the thought of seeing him again at Rainbow Bridge will keep you going.
Lots of hugs to you.
Big hugs to you.